Spongebob Jokes - 31 Hilarious Spongebob Jokes

SpongeBob may be the main character in the show…

..but Patrick is the star.

I got hospitalized for my SpongeBob addiction.

They put me in the Squid ward.

Why SpongeBob is always positive?

Because he's squared.

Spongebob was the most unrealistic kid's show

A teenager in a minimum wage job owning a house and car. Pfft

Squidward finally snapped, and used his clarinet to stab Spongebob.

Killed him with A Sharp Instrument.

Today I watched Spongebob Squarepants while standing on my head

It was a pineapple upside down cake day

Where should Spongebob fans go in the hospital?

The Squid-ward

Why does the plot of SpongeBob not make sense?

Because it’s full of holes.

There's a lot of crossover between the Bible and Spongebob

Both are quite holey

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If SpongeBob is absorbent and lives in bikini bottom

then I'm pretty sure that makes him a tampon

Why was spongebob fired from his job as a chemist?

His Absorbance Had No Correlation To His Concentration.

Question, why spongebob have many holes

Answer: coz squidward have 6 tentacles

Did you know that the seven main characters on SpongeBob SquarePants represent the seven deadly sins?

SpongeBob:

Patrick:

Squidward:

Sandy:

Plankton:

Gary:

Mr. Krabs: Lust, sloth, wrath, pride, envy, gluttony, and greed

What does Spongebob keep in his square pants?

A thick mane of cubic hair

What is Spongebob's favorite song?

Holey Diver

So I was rewatching old seasons of spongebob and found this joke

Spongebob: *changes his shape to look like Texas*

Also Spongebob: “hey Patrick what do I look like”

Patrick: “stupid”

Spongebob: “no I’m Texas”

Patrick: “what’s the difference”

*both laugh*
(I thought this might be relevant considering the mess in Texas right no...

I bought a life size 3d model of plankton from spongebob.

4days later I got an empty box full of bubble wrap. I still don't know where plankton is.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Damn girl are you the green fish from Spongebob season 2, episode 20: Sandy, Spongebob, and the Worm, at exactly 21:52?

Because I'm gonna eat that ass.

Why can't Spongebob make the honor roll?

Because he's a C sponge!

What's SpongeBob's worst personality trait?

He's way too self-absorbent

What do SpongeBob and LeBron James have in common?

They both hit the deck and flop like a fish.

Why couldn't Spongebob get a mortgage?

Because his house was underwater.

Seems like ISIS has a new driving teacher

Spongebob

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How could Donald Trump ever get elected in this great nation?

...said the country pissed off that the super bowl didn’t play music from spongebob.

I went diving with a bunch of laundry.

It was wrapped in a waterproof bag. I went in to gaze at the beautiful sealife. When I went back to the surface I noticed some of my clothes were missing.

Let's see I had 8 shirts, 2 socks, and 9 pants prior to diving and now I have 8 shirts, 2 socks, and 3 pants.

My friend asked me...

A favor for a neighbor is a good deed.

A favor for a favor is quid pro quo.

A favor for SpongeBob's neighbor is squid pro quo.

What do you call a vampire whose car breaks down three miles from a blood bank?

A cab

Cred: Spongebob, my role model

Damn girl are you David Hasselhoff?

Because I wanna ride you like Spongebob and Patrick getting the crown to Bikini Bottom from Shell City to save the day and Mr. Krabs

(Told by a 7 year old reading me a joke off of her SpongeBob Gogurt) "What is Plankton's grandma's favorite type of pudding?"

"Not labeled for individual sale!!!!!"

My girlfriend: Oh baby I want you to tease me.

Me: Plays three seconds of the SpongeBob Sweet Victory clip.

My Girlfriend: Oooh you dirty tease!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lizard is walking through the forest...

and he comes up to a large tree along the path. He looks up in the tree and sees Koala sitting on a branch smoking a joint.

"Heyoo Koala, do you mind if I climb up and try some?" Lizard asks.

"Not at all Lizard, my dude, come on up!" Koala wheezed while exhaling a ripe puff.

Liz...

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