UPJOKE
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How come Spongebob is the main character?

When Patrick is the star.

What STD did SpongeBob Squarepants get?

Clam-mydia.

Why does the plot of SpongeBob not make sense?

Because it’s full of holes.

I got hospitalized for my SpongeBob addiction

So I asked them if they can put me in the squid ward

There's a lot of crossover between the Bible and Spongebob

Both are quite holey

Why SpongeBob is always positive?

Because he's squared.

Squidward finally snapped, and used his clarinet to stab Spongebob.

Killed him with A Sharp Instrument.

What does Spongebob keep in his square pants?

A thick mane of cubic hair

So I was rewatching old seasons of spongebob and found this joke

Spongebob: *changes his shape to look like Texas*

Also Spongebob: “hey Patrick what do I look like”

Patrick: “stupid”

Spongebob: “no I’m Texas”

Patrick: “what’s the difference”

*both laugh*
(I thought this might be relevant considering the mess in Texas right no...

Today I watched Spongebob Squarepants while standing on my head

It was a pineapple upside down cake day

Where should Spongebob fans go in the hospital?

The Squid-ward

Question, why spongebob have many holes

Answer: coz squidward have 6 tentacles

Did you know that the seven main characters on SpongeBob SquarePants represent the seven deadly sins?

SpongeBob:

Patrick:

Squidward:

Sandy:

Plankton:

Gary:

Mr. Krabs: Lust, sloth, wrath, pride, envy, gluttony, and greed

Spongebob was the most unrealistic kid's show

A teenager in a minimum wage job owning a house and car. Pfft

What would you call it if SpongeBob ran for governer?

A goobernatorial election.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If SpongeBob is absorbent and lives in bikini bottom

then I'm pretty sure that makes him a tampon

[science] Why was spongebob fired from his job as a chemist?

His absorbance had no correlation to his concentration.

Did you hear about the Spongebob and Jojo crossover?

Everyone's favourite part was when plankton said, "You thought it was plankton, but it was me, copepodio!"

I bought a life size 3d model of plankton from spongebob.

4days later I got an empty box full of bubble wrap. I still don't know where plankton is.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Damn girl are you the green fish from Spongebob season 2, episode 20: Sandy, Spongebob, and the Worm, at exactly 21:52?

Because I'm gonna eat that ass.

What do SpongeBob and LeBron James have in common?

They both hit the deck and flop like a fish.

Why can't Spongebob make the honor roll?

Because he's a C sponge!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How could Donald Trump ever get elected in this great nation?

...said the country pissed off that the super bowl didn’t play music from spongebob.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know that SpongeBob has a square dick?

If you think you're surprised, Sandy just shit a brick.

What's SpongeBob's worst personality trait?

He's way too self-absorbent

Seems like ISIS has a new driving teacher

Spongebob

(Told by a 7 year old reading me a joke off of her SpongeBob Gogurt) "What is Plankton's grandma's favorite type of pudding?"

"Not labeled for individual sale!!!!!"

Why couldn't Spongebob get a mortgage?

Because his house was underwater.

Damn girl are you David Hasselhoff?

Because I wanna ride you like Spongebob and Patrick getting the crown to Bikini Bottom from Shell City to save the day and Mr. Krabs

A favor for a neighbor is a good deed.

A favor for a favor is quid pro quo.

A favor for SpongeBob's neighbor is squid pro quo.

What do you call a vampire whose car breaks down three miles from a blood bank?

A cab

Cred: Spongebob, my role model

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lizard is walking through the forest...

and he comes up to a large tree along the path. He looks up in the tree and sees Koala sitting on a branch smoking a joint.

"Heyoo Koala, do you mind if I climb up and try some?" Lizard asks.

"Not at all Lizard, my dude, come on up!" Koala wheezed while exhaling a ripe puff.

Liz...

My wife has been mad at me lately because she says I need to get my priorities straight...

I told her we can talk about it after this episode of Spongebob.

My girlfriend: Oh baby I want you to tease me.

Me: Plays three seconds of the SpongeBob Sweet Victory clip.

My Girlfriend: Oooh you dirty tease!

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