Sopranos Jokes

Two Sopranos walk into a bar

The bartender looks at them and says “I’m sorry but we don’t ser

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Heard this one on the sopranos today.

A rich guy and a poor guy have their wedding anniversary on the same day. They meet each other at the shopping complex.
The poor guy asks the rich guy "what'd you get for your wife today?"
The rich guy replies " I got her a diamond ring and a mercedes"
The poor guy asks "Why did you get tw...

Why are all pirates sopranos?

They love to hit the high Cs

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Joke I heard on the Sopranos

A rich man and a poor man have the same wedding anniversary.

They're both at Madison Avenue shopping for their wives. Poor man says to the Rich man, "What'd you get your wife this year?"

He says, "A Mercedes and a huge diamond ring." The poor man says, "Why'd you get her both?" The R...

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Paulie Walnut's Pope joke from Sopranos S5E1: cut to punchline only due to length

The Pope is sick and none of the Vatican doctors can figure it out. They summon an old wise man from the hills. He examines the Pope and says he's got a terminal case of blue balls. The only cure is for him to have sex, and the Cardinals go nuts. Finally, the Pope agrees but gives four condition...

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Here are two pretty good jokes from the HBO television series:

A rich man and a poor man are friends. Every year they go Christmas shopping for their wives and every year meet up and get dinner afterwards.

At dinner the poor man asks the rich man "So, what'd you get for your wife ...

How many sopranos does it take to fix a light bulb?

One. She holds the light bulb, then the world revolves around her!

The Vienna Boys Choir is having a special New Year’s Eve concert. At midnight there will be a ball drop and…

…all the Sopranos will become Altos.

Did you hear about the Chinese godfather?

He made them an offer they couldn’t understand
(Credit to the sopranos)

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A rich guy and a poor guy are talking with each other....

Both of them are discussing what they got their wives for their anniversary.

The rich guy tells he got his wife a diamond ring and a Mercedes. The poor guy is amazed and asked him why he got two gifts for her.
The rich guy said, "Well, if she doesn't like the ring, she can go and return...

Pannetone joke (help!)

Does anyone remember the pannetone joke where the punch line is a play on the word where it’s said as “(throw a) pan at Tony”?

I’ve tried to find it on Google but all that comes up is stuff about the Sopranos.

What starts with S and ends with

The Sopranos

A Chinese man goes to see an eye doctor (Racist)

After the examination, the doctor says "You have a cataract."

The Chinese guy replies, "No, I have a Rincoln Continentar."

Courtesy of Junior in the Sopranos

Did you hear the one about the Jewish terrorist?

He was gonna hijack a plane but he didn't want to use his miles

Credit: Hesh from The Sopranos
Note: I'm Jewish, not sure if that makes it better or worse ;-)

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I bought my wife a pair of slippers and a dildo for Christmas...

If she doesn't like the slippers she can go fuck herself.

- From The Sopranos

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Colonel Custer's widow [NSFW, language]

Heard this on the Sopranos, hopefully won't screw it up.

A few weeks after his death, Col. Custer's widow felt it necessary to commemorate her late husband. She found one of the best painters of the time and asked him to paint a mural of Custer's final moments. A month goes by and the paintin...

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A poor man and a rich man

A poor man and a rich man are sitting at a table eating dinner, poor man asks what he should get for us wife as a anniversary gift. Rich man says get her a diamond ring and a Mercedes, poor man asks why the Mercedes the ring is already expensive enough? Rich man says if she doesn’t like the ring you...

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