Slabs Jokes

They sit down and start discussing how tough they are, until the barman asks what they want.

Concrete 1: I'll have a pint, and a shot of tequila, because I'm hard! I'm tough and can handle anything!

So the barman gets his drinks and asks the second.

Concrete 2: me? I'll have 2 p... read more

They were all stakeholders.

He asks the bartender what they’re there for, and the bartender tells the man that the bar currently has a challenge going on. “If you can jump up, and hit all 3 slabs of meat before your feet hit the ground, you drink free for a month. But, if you don’t, you need to cover the cost of everyone’s dri... read more

This guy walks into a bar and notices there's slabs of meat all over the ceiling. He goes up to the bartender and asks why there's meat everywhere.

The bartender responds "it's part of our new promotion. If you manage to touch the slabs, your drinks are free all night. If you fail, it's $20 p... read more

Much to my surprise, I noticed slabs of meat attached to the ceiling. I asked what it was all about.

The barman said “if you can jump and touch the slabs of meat on the ceiling, you win free drinks for the rest of the night. However, if you don’t reach it you have to pay up £50... how does th... read more

A man living in ancient Egypt had a great idea for a business: he would pay couriers to deliver messages professionally inscribed on stone slabs to people all over the kingdom. For a small fee, people could have an important message written down and sent anywhere on the Nile. It swiftly took off a... read more

A girl went out on a date with a trumpet player, and when she came back her roommate asked, "Well, how was it? Did his embouchure make him a great kisser?"

"Nah," the first girl replied. "That dry, tight, tiny little pucker; it was no fun at all."

The next night she went out with a tub... read more

As soon as he sits down, the bartender offers him a challenge:

"So listen, we have a little bet we play around here"

The man follows the bartender's finger, pointed at the ceiling, and sees three pieces of meat, dangling high up from the ceiling.

"So if you can, in a single jum... read more

Woke up thinking I had told this one to all of my friends and they thought it was truly dumb. I told it to them IRL anyway:

Everybody else went back to the hostel, so I ended up walking around Switzerland by myself at one in the morning. I'm passing this bar when I hear people cheering. I cou... read more