Bricks on a plane

Q. There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off, how many left?

A. 499

Q. What are the 3 simple steps of putting an elephant in a refrigerator?

A. Open refrigerator, put elephant in, close refrigerator.

Q. What are the 4 simple steps of putting a giraffe in a refrigerat...

Which is heavier, 200 lbs of feathers, or 200 lbs of bricks?

The feathers, because you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds

What's the difference between bricks and incels?

Bricks get laid

100 Bricks

Agency: " Sir, we found 3 candidates as per your requirements. How do you want their placements, sir?"

MD: "Put about 100 bricks in a closed room. Then send the candidates into the room and close the door, leave them alone and come back after a few hours and analyse the situation:

1. I...

If an aeroplane is transporting 100 bricks, and one falls out, how many bricks are left?

Ninety nine.

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What are the three steps to putting an elephant in the fridge?

1. Open the door
2. Put the elephant in
3. Close the door

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What are the four steps to putting a horse in the fridge?

1. Open the door
2. Take the elephant out
...

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LEGO bricks are like boobs...

...They're designed for kids, but it's the grown-ups who have more fun with them. Oh, and it hurts when someone steps on them.

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Three generals are arguing over who has the bravest soldiers.

The first general calls up a private from his army and tells him: "Climb that building and leap down from the roof!". With a "Yes sir!", the soldier climbed the building, leapt off and crashed violently on the concrete floor. The second general called up a private from his army and orders him: "Put ...

I got T-boned by a construction delivery truck the other day.

It came down like a ton of bricks.

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Tits are like Lego bricks.

They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.

Architects call a layer of bricks a wythe. After the Great Fire of London, where thousands of wooden buildings were destroyed, King Henry VIII passed a law that the walls of all new buildings must be made of at least six layers of brick.

This is known as the six wythes of Henry the Eighth.

My comrades were destroying the brick factory.

I said "Stop, we need the bricks!"

They replied, "That's why we're demolishing it."

I was pondering why people keep telling me that juggling bricks is a bad idea.

Then it hit me.

Bricks have a frustrating life.

They're hard all the time, but only get laid once.

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A new bloke starts works on a building site...

He meets his new workmates and they head up to the roof to start work.
One of the workers picks up a pile of bricks and steps off the edge of the building falling 10 stories and landing safely at the bottom.
He takes the elevator back to the top and keeps working.
No one seems to even bat a...

A drunk coming from a night club at dawn wandered off the path and trespassed into a military camp ... [long]

A drunk coming from a night club at dawn wandered off the path and trespassed into a military camp.

He was urinating on one of the camp’s flowerbeds when he was arrested and given a punishment to move a pile of some 1000 bricks from a shed to a nearby site on the camp where some construction ...

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A man comes running to the doctors one day.

"Doctor doctor my ass hurts like hell and I think it's bleeding" the man says, The doctor says "well what happen". The man starts talking and saying how he was taking a shit and it wouldn't come out so I pushed and pushed and pop it came out and in that time I jumped up and shouted ahh my ass and I ...

What weighs more a tonne of bricks or a tonne of feathers

A tonne of feathers of course, ... Because you have to live with what you did to those chickens

What do you call stacks of free bricks left for rioters?

Free Masonry!

A friend told me "I can't wait to get out of Brooklyn, they took my rims, put the car on bricks"

I said "you moved to Brooklyn so you can get a brownstone, now you got 4"

What does a fat white woman and a pile of bricks have in common?

Sooner or later they will both get laid by a Mexican.

I don't want to sound like I'm showing off or something, but people put bricks through my windows...

...just so they can hear me practicing my saxophone louder.

A blue House is made of blue bricks, a pink house is made of pink bricks, a yellow house is made of yellow bricks. What is a green house made of?

Glass

My wife said childbirth was the worst pain, until I told her how I once landed barefoot on a huge pile of toy bricks.

She didn't have a Lego to stand on.

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What colour bricks?

Not sure if this has been posted before but oh well.

My Granddad told me this when I was smaller (Yes, he is still alive) .
Sorry for the horrible (Grand)dad joke!

If a red house has red bricks , a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour bricks does a green house have?

No...

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Bill is laying bricks on the 20th floor of a construction site

When he accidentally knocked a brick, causing it to fall off the edge!
He quickly yelled out "Falling Brick!"

Looking down, he notices that a rather well-dressed businessman has stepped out of the way of the brick and is making his way up to him. "You saved my life mate, here's $100" sai...

Two brick masons are laying a wall when suddenly one of the bricks start to talk..

When the masons start to talk to the brick he seems just like a regular guy telling the masons about his ambitions to go and get a education, so that he's not forgotten like the rest of his brethren. Then he asks the masons to go with him and get an education too so that they won't have to do this...

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Himalayan Dick BABA

A man had a tiny penis. He went to doctors,surgeons, faith healers , witch doctors etc to try and get it larger.
All their knowledge was in vain as they could do nothing about it.
A relative of his who saw this, told him about a baba who lived on the peak of the Himalayas who had been kno...

If someone got hit by a ton of bricks and survived,

how would they describe it?

Where did the builder buy his bricks from?

Wall-mart.

What's heavier? 200kg bricks or 200kg feathers?

The feathers of course.

200kg bricks it's just some measure of bricks. But, if you want to lift 200kg feathers you need also handle what you've done to all these poor birds.

Lego bricks are being used to help people with dementia and alzheimers...

They are being put at the side of their beds to remind the old folks to put their shoes on when they get up...

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Overdosed on red clay?..

Overdosed on red clay.

Now I’m shitting bricks.

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