UPJOKE

This joke may contain profanity. π€

### Tits are like Lego bricks.

They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.

### What weighs more, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?

The ton of feathers because you have to live with the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

### What's heavier, 200 pounds of bricks, or 200 pounds of feathers?

The feathers, because 200 pounds of bricks is just 200 pounds of bricks, but with the feathers, you've also got to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds

### 500 bricks on a plane

Q. There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off, how many left?

A. 499

Q. What are the 3 simple steps of putting an elephant in a refrigerator?

A. Open refrigerator, put elephant in, close refrigerator.

Q. What are the 4 simple steps of putting a giraffe in a refrigerat...

This joke may contain profanity. π€

### LEGO bricks are like boobs...

...They're designed for kids, but it's the grown-ups who have more fun with them. Oh, and it hurts when someone steps on them.

### If there are 502 bricks in a plane and 1 falls off, how many are left?

>!501.!<

How do you put an elephant in a fridge?

>!You open the door, put the elephant in, and close the door.!<

How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

>!You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.!<

So, the ...

This joke may contain profanity. π€

### What colour bricks?

Not sure if this has been posted before but oh well.

My Granddad told me this when I was smaller (Yes, he is still alive) .
Sorry for the horrible (Grand)dad joke!

If a red house has red bricks , a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour bricks does a green house have?

No...

### Today I taught my sons to lay bricks.

Nice bit of male bonding.

This joke may contain profanity. π€

### It's going to be easy for Trump to build that wall...

... everyone's shitting bricks everywhere

This joke may contain profanity. π€

### Bricks have a frustrating sex life.

They're hard all the time, but only get laid once.

### What do fat women and Bricks have in common?

Theyβre both eventually laid by Mexicans

### 100 Bricks

Agency: " Sir, we found 3 candidates as per your requirements. How do you want their placements, sir?"

MD: "Put about 100 bricks in a closed room. Then send the candidates into the room and close the door, leave them alone and come back after a few hours and analyse the situation:

1. I...

Glass

### A bucket of zippos is easier to lift than a bucket of bricks

Zippos are lighter

### A strange man asks, "What weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?"

I don't care please just get out of my house!

### Friends are like bricks

it's kinda funny when you throw them through a window

### What's heavier? 200kg bricks or 200kg feathers?

The feathers of course.

200kg bricks it's just some measure of bricks. But, if you want to lift 200kg feathers you need also handle what you've done to all these poor birds.

### What do you call stacks of free bricks left for rioters?

Free Masonry!

This joke may contain profanity. π€

### A little girl was on summer break, and some guys showed up to work on the house across the street

Being the curious type, she decided to walk over and offer her help. The guys said sure, of course she could. So they gave her little jobs to do all week, "bring these screws over to Ray" and that sort of thing. After the week was over, they decided to give her a little payment, and handed her an en...

### Two brick masons are laying a wall when suddenly one of the bricks start to talk..

When the masons start to talk to the brick he seems just like a regular guy telling the masons about his ambitions to go and get a education, so that he's not forgotten like the rest of his brethren. Then he asks the masons to go with him and get an education too so that they won't have to do this...

Wall-mart.

### My comrades were destroying the brick factory.

I said "Stop, we need the bricks!"

They replied, "That's why we're demolishing it."

### Your mom reminds of bricks

She's constantly getting laid by Mexicans.

### The bricked camel.

In the desert, a traveller approached a camel merchant. He wants to buy a camel with enough strength and endurance that would take him 15 days through the desert. The merchant only had three camels:

The first one was a pretty small camel, that, according to the merchant, could last 4 days wit...

### I was pondering why people keep telling me that juggling bricks is a bad idea.

Then it hit me.

This joke may contain profanity. π€

### Bill is laying bricks on the 20th floor of a construction site

When he accidentally knocked a brick, causing it to fall off the edge!
He quickly yelled out "Falling Brick!"

Looking down, he notices that a rather well-dressed businessman has stepped out of the way of the brick and is making his way up to him. "You saved my life mate, here's \$100" sai...

### How many bricks do you need to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but you're going to need a lot of patience and light bulbs.

### Brick

- An airplane had 100 bricks in it. One brick falls out. How many are left?
- 99, of course.

- What are the three steps to put an elephant in the fridge?
1. Open the door.
2. Put the elephant in.
3. Close the door.

- What are the three steps to put a horse in th...

This joke may contain profanity. π€

### 3 guys are walking next to some mud and find some bricks.

They want to see who can throw the bricks the highest but can't seem to figure out how to measure the height that they threw it. One of the guys says "we can just measure how far the brick sinks into the mud." The other two agree to this. The first guy throws his brick and it lodges itself a foot a...

This joke may contain profanity. π€

### a young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot. One day some builders arrived to put up a house on the lot

The family had a three year old daughter who naturally took some interest in all the activity going on next door.

She hung around on the margins, and eventually the builders adopted her as kind of a mascot. They chatted to her and gave her little pretend jobs to do.

At the end of the w...

### I don't want to sound like I'm showing off or something, but people put bricks through my windows...

...just so they can hear me practicing my saxophone louder.

### What do you call a dinosaur made of plastic bricks?

A legosaurus!

Randomly made up this the other night, thought I'd share.