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There a 502 bricks in a plane, one falls out, how many bricks are left?

501

Hoe do you put an elephant in a fridge?

Open the door, put the elephant in, shut the door

How do put a giraffe in a fridge?

Open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, close the door

The lion king invites all the animals to a party, but ones missi...

A bucket of zippos is easier to lift than a bucket of bricks

Zippos are lighter

A strange man asks, "What weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?"

I don't care please just get out of my house!

If an aeroplane is transporting 100 bricks, and one falls out, how many bricks are left?

Ninety nine.

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What are the three steps to putting an elephant in the fridge?

1. Open the door
2. Put the elephant in
3. Close the door

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What are the four steps to putting a horse in the fridge?

1. Open the door
2. Take the elephant out
...

What weighs more, 200 lbs of bricks, or 200 lbs of feathers?

200 lbs of feathers,

Because 200 lbs of bricks are just that, 200 lbs of feathers you have to carry the weight of what you did to all those birds.

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A bricklayer has an accident at work and is being investigated, as the insurance company doesn't believe his injuries are real. They demand that he send them a description of the accident.

So he writes:

"I'm a bricklayer by trade. I had finished building the guard rail on the roof of the building. I use a barrel and pulley system to raise supplies up to the roof, and loaded the barrel up with the leftover bricks and my tools, weighing approximately 300 lbs, and then went below ...

A piece of string walks into a bar ...

Bartender says "We don't serve your kind in here!".
The string walks back out dejected. Then he gets an idea. He rubs his head on the bricks on the front of the bar outside. Satisfied with the results, he goes back into the same bar. "Hey!" the bartender yells. "We don't serve string in here! Are...

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LEGO bricks are like boobs...

...They're designed for kids, but it's the grown-ups who have more fun with them. Oh, and it hurts when someone steps on them.

What's the difference between bricks and incels?

Bricks get laid

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Tits are like Lego bricks.

They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.

100 Bricks

Agency: " Sir, we found 3 candidates as per your requirements. How do you want their placements, sir?"

MD: "Put about 100 bricks in a closed room. Then send the candidates into the room and close the door, leave them alone and come back after a few hours and analyse the situation:

1. I...

Many years ago in an Indian city-state there lived a very poor fisherman

One day, he has an especially good haul and earned a glistening gold coin. Elated but afraid to lose it, he decided he'd hide his treasure in the kingdom's Northern wall between a crack in the bricks. He then returned home.

Months later, he find that his pockets have run dry and desperately n...

Architects call a layer of bricks a wythe. After the Great Fire of London, where thousands of wooden buildings were destroyed, King Henry VIII passed a law that the walls of all new buildings must be made of at least six layers of brick.

This is known as the six wythes of Henry the Eighth.

What weighs more a tonne of bricks or a tonne of feathers

A tonne of feathers of course, ... Because you have to live with what you did to those chickens

I was pondering why people keep telling me that juggling bricks is a bad idea.

Then it hit me.

Bricks have a frustrating life.

They're hard all the time, but only get laid once.

What do fat women and Bricks have in common?

They’re both eventually laid by Mexicans

What do you call stacks of free bricks left for rioters?

Free Masonry!

How do you fit an Elephant in a refrigerator ?

Open the door, shove in the Elephant, close the door.


*How do you fit a Giraffe in a refrigerator?*

Open the door, take out the Elephant, shove in the Giraffe, close the door.


*A plane has 20 bricks on the right hand side and 21 bricks on the left side. How do you balanc...

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What colour bricks?

Not sure if this has been posted before but oh well.

My Granddad told me this when I was smaller (Yes, he is still alive) .
Sorry for the horrible (Grand)dad joke!

If a red house has red bricks , a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour bricks does a green house have?

No...

I don't want to sound like I'm showing off or something, but people put bricks through my windows...

...just so they can hear me practicing my saxophone louder.

A blue House is made of blue bricks, a pink house is made of pink bricks, a yellow house is made of yellow bricks. What is a green house made of?

Glass

Elephant in a fridge (what style of humour is this joke?)

How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

(This is a 6 in 1 joke)
Person 1: You have 500 bricks. If you throw one off a plane, how many will you have left?
Person 2: 499.
Person 1: Correct!

Person 1: How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Person 2: That’s not...

What does a pile of bricks and a fat chick have in common?

They both probably gonna get laid by some Mexican

My comrades were destroying the brick factory.

I said "Stop, we need the bricks!"

They replied, "That's why we're demolishing it."

My wife said childbirth was the worst pain, until I told her how I once landed barefoot on a huge pile of toy bricks.

She didn't have a Lego to stand on.

Two brick masons are laying a wall when suddenly one of the bricks start to talk..

When the masons start to talk to the brick he seems just like a regular guy telling the masons about his ambitions to go and get a education, so that he's not forgotten like the rest of his brethren. Then he asks the masons to go with him and get an education too so that they won't have to do this...

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Bill is laying bricks on the 20th floor of a construction site

When he accidentally knocked a brick, causing it to fall off the edge!
He quickly yelled out "Falling Brick!"

Looking down, he notices that a rather well-dressed businessman has stepped out of the way of the brick and is making his way up to him. "You saved my life mate, here's $100" sai...

If someone got hit by a ton of bricks and survived,

how would they describe it?

What's heavier? 200kg bricks or 200kg feathers?

The feathers of course.

200kg bricks it's just some measure of bricks. But, if you want to lift 200kg feathers you need also handle what you've done to all these poor birds.

Where did the builder buy his bricks from?

Wall-mart.

Lego bricks are being used to help people with dementia and alzheimers...

They are being put at the side of their beds to remind the old folks to put their shoes on when they get up...

How many bricks do you need to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but you're going to need a lot of patience and light bulbs.

Your mom is like a pile of bricks.

Constantly getting laid by Mexicans.

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3 guys are walking next to some mud and find some bricks.

They want to see who can throw the bricks the highest but can't seem to figure out how to measure the height that they threw it. One of the guys says "we can just measure how far the brick sinks into the mud." The other two agree to this. The first guy throws his brick and it lodges itself a foot a...

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Three generals are arguing over who has the bravest soldiers.

The first general calls up a private from his army and tells him: "Climb that building and leap down from the roof!". With a "Yes sir!", the soldier climbed the building, leapt off and crashed violently on the concrete floor. The second general called up a private from his army and orders him: "Put ...

Friends are like bricks

it's kinda funny when you throw them through a window

I got T-boned by a construction delivery truck the other day.

It came down like a ton of bricks.

These days my boss has been getting on my nerves. See I'm a brick layer and he is always yelling to layer the bricks faster and faster...

These days everyone wants instant stratification.

How does a penguin join bricks together for building a house?

Igloos it together.

What do you call a dinosaur made of plastic bricks?

A legosaurus!

Randomly made up this the other night, thought I'd share.

What do a load of bricks and a 300 lb woman have in common?

At some point they'll both be laid by a Mexican.

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