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Shooters Jokes

A shooting club was holding a competition. The winner was to get a somewhat ugly trophy, the second-placed shooter - a crate of champagne.

By the end of the final round, two shooters were tied for first place, so they were told to do a tiebreaker round - 5 shots at maximum distance. To keep things more dramatic, they had to shoot at the same time.

After both had stopped firing and were awaiting the results, one shooter turned to...

School shooters

I just dont like school shooting jokes i dont know why.

Mabey its just because they're aimed at kids

Did you know the US police have the most comprehensive and well maintained database of potential racist shooters?

They call it “the payroll”.

Man walks into a bar to find the man who slept with his daughter (SFW)

Man walks into a bar with a 4 six shooters and a double barrel demanding to know who slept with his daughter.

Father: WHICH ONE OF YOU SONS OF B*TCHS SLEPT WITH MY LITTLE DARLING GIRL!

Bartender: Sir you ain't got enough bullets

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I really thought Activision understood that we're sick of modern-day shooters.

And yet in the new Call of Duty they're giving us Nazis to shoot again.

We should rename school shooters

Start calling em "PEW-pils"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are school shooters more likely to be white people?

White people actually go to school. Black people stay home and shoot people in their own neighborhood.

How do American police stop shooters

They donut

Many news outlets don't name shooters anymore to prevent copycats...

Explains why we keep having so many hurricanes.

School shooters have a huge problem: They will miss their classmates.

One way or the other.

A dog wearing spurs, two six shooters and a vest hobbles in through a saloons double swinging doors

He hops on a bar stool and says I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.

An old Team Fortress 2 joke. Probably applicable to a few other team shooters, too.

The Heavy Weapons Guy woke up one morning to a bit of distress. His stomach was tied up in knots, forcing him into the bathroom for much of the day. After a few hours of this painful nonsense, he sought out the Medic for some professional advice.

"Ah," the Medic exclaimed in his exaggerated...

What would happen if we took all possible school shooters and put them in one school?

Literally Fortnite

Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:

Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.

In other news, the president's non-binary spouse has been assassinated

The suspect's family claims he was inspired by First-Person Shooters

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and his raccoon

I was out drinking the other night and a man and his pet raccoon walk into the bar. It's about 7pm, in a near empty dive bar. Seemed a bit odd but as I watched I could tell they're ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night go...

Why will the columbine high basket ball team lose the tournament?

Because they lost their 2 best shooters

Netflix is producing a documentary about the end of BlockBuster....

Thats like if the school shooters produced "Bowling for Columbine"

Why can’t the cops ever catch overweight killers in the act?

They’re only looking for the active shooters

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The cowboy's wife

A cowboy walked into the local honky tonk late one Saturday evening with his pistol drawn. "Alright nobody move! This here 6 shooters loaded and I'm here to shoot the low down varmint that's been sleeping with my wife!"
The crowd froze and nobody dared to speak for a full minute. Finally some dru...

Say what you will about Americans being fat and lazy...

but active shooters are always determined, dedicated, and in shape.

Why hasn’t columbine won a basketball championship since 1999?

They lost their best shooters

What do you call...

What do you call it when a man who Hates games, cant stop playing side scrolling shooters?

A contr-addiction

What does a church photographer and Stephen Paddock have in common?

They're both mass shooters.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The little Cowboy

A little boy walks into an ice-cream store wearing a cowboy hat and a pair of six shooters.The woman behind the counter can't help smiling at the tough expression on his chubby little face.

“Hello there,cowboy," she says “What can I get for you?"

The kid bellies up to the counter.
...

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