What do you call a programmer that doesn't use Stack Overflow?

A liar.

At a job interview I filled my glass of water until it overflowed a little.

“Nervous?” asked the interviewer.

“No. I always give 110%”.

What did the contractor say when the city complained about the overflowing river?

dam it!

Are you a barrier to stop water overflow?

Cus dam

A 90 year old just told this: What happens when you drop the turkey out of the oven?

It's the downfall of Turkey and the overflow of grease.

Wife: Get me 5 cans of milk from the store, I want to soak in a milk bath

Husband: Honey, I think one can will be enough before it overflows

There was a hunter who lived alone in the middle of the forest, in a small house by the river..

A short distance down a slope in front of his house, he had a garden where he would grow vegetables to supplement his diet of forest game and fish.


One morning, he awoke to the sounds of a thunderstorm and rushing water. Quickly getting dressed and stumbling outside, he saw the river ...

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A gorgeous maid met her madam and asked for a pay rise.

"why are you asking for a pay rise?" asked the madam.

"Because i iron better than you." answered the maid.

Silently fuming, the madam asked, "who said that?"

"your husband did."

Silent fuming intensifies. A bit daring, the madam asked again, "is that all you have to say?...

Another Parrot Joke

A young couple bought a parrot, but quickly discovered that he could cause them a lot of embarrassment. Every time someone came to the house, he would tell them what the couple had been up to, particularly what went on in the evenings on the sofa.

“That’s it, I’ve had enough,” said the man, “...

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Im not really Fat

In fact, Im too sexy that it overflows.

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The Aquatic Research Fish ponds overflowed last night because of heavy Rain.

it flooded the residential area nearby. A man walked into his back yard the next morning and saw his entire basement was filled with water, and hundreds of fish swimming in his pool. He went in his house and called his insurance company. He told the representative what happened. She replied "Sorry, ...

In our fight against garbage and overflowing landfills, I feel like we're under-utilizing our...

...active volcanoes.

There are 11 types of people in this world...

1 those who understand binary

2 those who don't

3 those who are sick of hearing this joke





4 those who don't check for data overruns



Commit: re-scope of overflow after code review thanks @eightvo

-- 6 those who don't check for data overrun...

A maternity ward was overflowing one national holiday

It was Labor day

A man is walking along the beach with his wife when he stumbles upon an oil lamp poking from the sand...

Intrigued, the man picks it up and begins to rub the sand off it. To his surprise, a genie emerges from the lamp!

The genie says in a mighty voice, "As a reward for releasing me, I shall grant you three wishes. However, your wife shall receive double of what you ask for."

Without hesit...

Three people die and go to Heaven.

When they arrive, Saint Peter tells them, "We have one rule here. It's fairly simple: don't step on the ducks."

The three guys enter Heaven, and the first thing they see is that Heaven is *OVERFLOWING* with ducks. It is literally impossible to not step on a duck. Despite this, they try their ...

Two Chicagoans die in an unfortunate car wreck.

Two Chicagoans die in an unfortunate car wreck.

Tragic, especially considering they didn’t exactly spend their days helping old ladies cross the street or volunteering at the Boys and Girls club. Nope, these fellows went straight to Hades.

The Devil, as is his custom, goes to greet hi...

My coworkers brought me a bunch of cards to celebrate my birthday

Each one gave me one with a single word printed on it. The first said "extravagant", while the next one said "surplus". These were followed by cards that said "abundance", "excess", and "overflowing". Before I read any more I had to stop because I was overcome with emotion. It was all too much.

There was this old man

Sitting on his porch watching the rain fall pretty hard. Soon the water was coming over the porch and overflowing into the house.

The old man was still sitting there when a rescue boat came and the people on board said, "You can't stay here you have to come with us."

The old man replie...

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A lady walks into a bar...

A lady walks into a bar. A man is sitting at the bar and reaches into his bag to pay his tab and the woman notices it’s clearly overflowing with cash.

Intrigued, she asks the man where he had come across such a large sum. He holds up one finger, reaches once again into his bag, digs through ...

A guy walks into a bar...

And he’s got a tiny head, completely disproportionate to his muscled body. One of the bar patrons goes up to him and asks, “So um... how’d that happen?” The man gulps down his drink and sighs. He’s recounted this story before.

“So I met this fairy by the lake. And she was absolutely beautifu...

Hercules went into the Hydra's lair to slay it.

He cut off its head, and two more grew in its place.

He cut off its two heads, and four more grew in their place.

He cut off its four heads, and eight more grew in their place.

...

He cut off its 1073741824 heads, and the Hydra died of integer overflow.

Four guys are driving on a long road trip. It's the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere.

The guy from Idaho takes out a sack of potatoes and starts throwing them out the window one by one.

"What the hell are you doing?", someone asks. "Look, we've got so many potatoes in Idaho. I mean, we're overflowing with them. So whenever I travel I'm supposed to get rid of as many as I can....

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender he's short on cash. He proposes that he plays the piano in exchange for some drinks.

The bartender agrees and the guy walks over to the piano and starts playing. The bartender and patrons are amazed at the beautiful sounds that are produced from this old piano. He plays several songs in a row. After about 20 minutes he walks up to the bartender and asks if that was worthy of a drink...

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Two beggars sit outside a church in St. Petersburg in Tsarist Russia

Each has a hat on the ground in front of him. One of the beggars is wearing a cross around his neck and the other is clearly an old Jew.

When services are over, the doors of the church open, and the crowd of Russians walk out. One by one, the Russians spit on the old Jew and very deliberately...

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A man is meeting his girlfriend's parents for the first time.

A man is meeting his girlfriend's parents for the first time. He doesn't have a car, so he decides to get a bike so he doesn't look like a complete loser.

At the bike shop, the owner holds up some Vaseline and says, "if it ever rains, make sure you put this on the bike to protect it".

...

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DOOM

The police officer approaches me slowly, his hand on his pistol. “Sir, can you please come down from that tree?”

“Not a chance!”

He surveys the destruction all around us. “What happened here?”

I stare at the smoking remains of my house and mutter, “Doom.”

The Police offic...

The programmer's wife asked him how much he loved her from 1 to 10

He said -2,147,483,647. She was very angry, even though he explained that it was a love overflow.

yo mama so fat

that a recursive algorithm to calculate her mass suffers from a stack overflow error before completion.

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Germany, Russia and Poland are competing in a vault breaking competition...

The rules of the competition are simple. There is a vault in the middle of a room. The light in the room is shut off for 3 seconds. In those 3 seconds the team can do whatever they want to the vault to try and get in. If the team manages to break into the vault before the light comes back on they ge...

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A drunk walks into a bar he's never been in before...

He sees an enormous pickle jar on the top shelf that is overflowing with $100 bills. He asks the bartender for a beer and a shot, and decides to ignore it. Six drinks in, curiosity gets the best of him.
"Wuz, uh... what's wilth the jar o' money?"
The bartender replies that there is a $100 buy ...

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Malicious Compliance

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman are in the pub one night complaining about their nagging wives. In order to get their own back, they decide to do the first thing their wives tell them when they return home that night.

The Englishman gets home, lights a cigarette and falls asleep on...

A CS student studying recursion walks into a bar

StackOverflowError

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A sign in the window of a bar advertised for a Piano Player...

...and one day a scroungy looking old guy entered the bar asking about the job.

The bartender was put off by the man's looks, but pointed him to the piano in the corner.

As the old man began to play, the room was filled with the most beautiful, melodious music anyone in the bar had eve...

2,147,483,647 bottles of beer on the wall, 2,147,483,647 bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around

Error: Int overflow

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A Lecture on Life

A professor is giving a lecture on personal lives, and to start he pulls out a jar.

“This jar,” he says, “represents your life.”

He then drops in some fairly large-sized rocks into the jar.

“These rocks represent the basics of your life. You know, food, shelter, sex, stuff like ...

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A man burst into the Elder's tent, saying that his son had spotted a werewolf and it wished to speak to him.

The Elder had the boy lead them all to where he saw it and when they all get there, all they see is a regular wolf, standing patiently at the line of stones that marked the border of the village.

The Elder approached it carefully, eyeing the wolf. "You." He spoke, "Wished to speak to me?"
...

A priest, a bishop, and an altar boy are out fishing...

A priest, a bishop, and an altar boy are out fishing on a lake. While they're relaxing and shooting the breeze, the priest accidentally drops his fishing pole into the water.

"No worries," says the priest. "I've got this."

He climbs out of the boat, steps onto the lake surface, and wal...

How to make friends

Next time you are washing your hands next to somebody cup your hands under the tap until the water overflows then look at them dramatically and say "this water is getting out of hand" it is a guaranteed way to make friends. I have never tried it but it is guaranteed

Because of my cake here are a few physics jokes...

1.) Two kittens are on a roof which one falls off first?

The one with the lowest mew.

2.) what happens to electrons and they lose all the energy?

They become Bohred

3.) People call me lazy but I am just overflowing with potential energy.

4.) Did you hear about th...

Overcrowded church

The two thousand member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The preacher was ready to start the sermon when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.

One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while th...

Yo mama so fat...

That when she takes a bath she doesn't use any water..... and it STILL overflows.

A man lights up a joint after refuelling his car.

A man was refueling his car when he lost concentration and the petrol began to overflow, splashing all over him. He dries himself off and pays for the petrol before getting in his car and continuing on his way.

A little while later he was driving down the road and decided to light up a joint ...

Why do programmers hate designing flood defence simulations?

Because of the overflow errors!

God will save me

A terrible storm came into a town and local officials sent out an emergency warning that the riverbanks would soon overflow and flood the nearby homes. They ordered everyone in the town to evacuate immediately.

A faithful Christian man heard the warning and decided to stay, saying to himself,...

A man from Moscow decides to move to a new collective farm in Siberia.

His family is excited at the possibility of leaving their cramped flat in the city for a nice country house, but they have heard mixed things about the new Siberian farms so the man agrees to go on his own first, and write back to let them know if they should follow him or not.

They know the ...

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Rooty the Rooster [NSFW]

Farmer John found himself in a bit of a rut. His crops weren't yelding like they use to, cattle prices had hit an all time low, and he was really strapped for cash. After discussing it with Mrs. Farmer John, they decided to salvage what they had, sell the farm, and move to greener pastures. He kisse...

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An oldie but a goodie

A towns prison was overflowing with inmates, and they were running out of room for new prisoners.

The local police force decided to allow two criminals to be punished by the public for their crimes. One was a wife beater, and the other was a rapist.

There was a queue in front of each c...

StackOverflow developers have the hardest job on the internet.

When the site goes down, they have to fix it without StackOverflow

An English, American and Mexican Guy Climb Up Everest...

They decide to sacrifice some things from their country as they are overflowing with these specific things. The English man grabs some tea and pours it off and says ' i have too much of this in my country' the Mexican man throws a taco off and says ' i have too much of this in my country' and finall...

A man is walking down the street...

...on his way home and decides to surprise his wife with flowers. He sees a storefront with the window overflowing with flowers and stops in. "I'll have a dozen roses," he says. The shopkeeper calmly shakes his head and says "I'm sorry, we don't sell flowers. We actually do circumcisions". The incre...

How to get a divorce

Wife: Honey, how do I look?

Husband: Like a.. Well, great!

Wife: Good great or bad great?

Husband: Overflowing sewer grate.

(NSFW) Computer tech humor

A computer technician was boasting about the size of his hard drive and how much RAM he had. A female colleague said that she had three user friendly ports and some of best port knockers around.

The female technician suggested that perhaps they should combine their equipment and connect his h...

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