Did you hear about that new Netflix series about a chemistry teacher that finds out he has cancer and secretly opens a bakery to provide for his family when he's gone?

It's called Baking Bread.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

For his birthday, an old man’s nephews secretly hire a call girl for him

When he answers the door she’s standing there in a slinky black dress. She says, “I’m here to give you super sex.”

After thinking for a minute the old man replies, “I guess I’ll have the soup.”

In a small town there was a poor Christian old lady. She was always asking the God to bring her groceries. One day her not Christian neighbor went out and secretly bought the lady groceries…

As the lady saw the groceries she rejoiced and thanked the lord. The neighbor was fed up and told the old lady that God did not bring her groceries he did. She yelled thank you Lord for bringing me groceries and making the devil pay for them.

What do you call a priest that is secretly an atheist?

An impastor.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man badly wanted to lick the princess' boobs.

He decided to ask his friend Johnny, who works in the palace. He promised 2,000 gold coins to Johnny, he agreed instantly with the deal.


A few days later, Johnny goes and sprinkles itching powder on the princess' bra while she was taking a bath. The plan worked successfully, when the pr...

As I suspected, someone had been secretly adding soil in my backyard garden

*The plot thickens....*

I thought it was romantic to secretly swap my girlfriend's backpack for a bag of roses.

Her skydiving instructor didn't.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend has been secretly masturbating behind my back during her Period...

But i caught her red handed!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've been getting the same prostitute to come to my work and secretly give me felatio for a while now. I forgot to tell her that I was sick yesterday and had to call in a cover.

Safe to say my cover was blown...

A man secretly wants to get rid of his wife's cat...

...and decides to abandon it. He takes her into the car, drives a few blocks away, drops off the cat and drives home.

Ten minutes later, the cat is back home again.

"Well," the man thinks to himself, "maybe it was a little too short a distance."

He gets back in the car with the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFF: Secretly taped me and my wife having sex...

It was kinda hot seeing her disappointed face from another angle.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A king suspected that his queen was being unfaithful

So he secretly taped a tiny razor blade to her vagina. Three days later, he ordered his knights to drop their pants. They all had bandaged penises, except for one. The king said to him, "I always knew you were my most loyal knight!"

He replied, "It wath nothing, your magethy"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Unbeknownst to his wife, Steve has secretly been drinking at the bar all day.

He looks at his phone only to realize that its 2a.m. and he should be getting home before his wife is pissed.

He tries to stand up but falls flat on his face. Deciding he needs to sober up, he gets some water and waits an hour. Again, he tries to stand up. Again, he falls flat on his face....

"Doctor, my wife is secretly a movie theater!"

"I think you're just projecting."

Secretly found that I can manipulate stock market

Whatever I bought, it went red.

Youbg boy tells mum "I saw daddy..."

"....in the nearby park, he was parked and with a woman, I went up to the car as the windows were steamed up, I saw they were busy and they were naked and he was doing press ups like we do at school, but he was on top of the naked woman "

Mum is super mad, she quizzes the boy and with growing...

Vintage comedy

At a wine merchant, the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.
A drunkard, with a ragged, dirty look came in to apply for the position.


The director of the winery wondered how to send him away. He gave him a glass to drink.


The drun...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men find a lamp...

Three middle aged men are walking along an abandoned beach when they find a golden lamp glistening in the sun. Deciding they have nothing to lose, they decide to rub it and see what happens. In astonishment, they see a genie appear before them.

"Thank you for freeing me from my lamp. To thank...

I’ve secretly converted to Norse paganism

shhhhhhh! I’m trying to keep it Loki.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Communist leaders - one happy, one sad - met in a hallway

"Boris, why the long face?", the happy one asked. "Cheer up!"

"Easy for you to say, Andrei", the sad one replied. "I've just been given an order from the very top. I'm supposed to figure out which of the Party members are secretly Christians and arrest them. But how am I supposed to do that?"...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Simple Economics

SOCIALISMYou have 2 cows.You give one to your neighbour

COMMUNISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and gives you some milk

FASCISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and sells you some milk

NAZISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and shoots you

BUREAUCRATISMYou hav...

The babysitter didn't realize I was secretly taping her

until I put the last piece over her mouth.

Why does Donald Trump secretly want to lose the election?

Because if he wins, he'll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.

I keep on telling my friends that I think one of them might secretly be an owl

But all they respond with is “Who?”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've been secretly injecting soap into my balls to see if I can jizz bubbles.

It's time for me to come clean.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend has been secretly recording me for years and now she’s blackmailing me into doing all these gross fetishes of hers

I just wish I had realized earlier because now she has a lot of shit on me

After my best friend passed away I got his sibling a parrot to soften the blow.

Then I secretly taught it to say, "Daniel, it's your brother. Reincarnation is real!"

I have been secretly messing with people's spice racks...

You might not know it, but your thyme is cumin.

I am suspicious that someone in my family has been secretly adding glue to my weapons collection.

Everyone denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.

What phrase is 5 words long, makes you a part of a secretly hated society, is as infective as a virus and stays in your memory forever, but is only mentioned on occasion?

“I just lost the game”

Reddit is secretly run by cows, and I can prove it!

[remooved]

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Eve the beautiful fairy had the power to bring life to the world with her poop.

She had been wandering the forest near the king's palace for a good spot to take a nice dump, and she found one in a nice shapely pile of leaves. Once finished, she noticed the dead flowers around her bloom as if it were spring. Unbeknowst to our favourite fairy Eve, the poop itself came to life in ...

So you secretly bought an extra controller for your PS4?

Two can play at that game.

What do you call the identity of a person who secretly is a priest?

It’s an altar ego.

I'm beginning to suspect my cat is secretly a Chinese communist.

All she ever talks about is Mao.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American spy secretly listens to Hitler and his Japanese dog

Hitler loved dogs, and during his alliance with the Japanese, he decided to get a Japanese dog.

As Japanese people know, in Japan, dogs say "wan" instead of "woof".

Once Hitler received his Japanese dog, he decided to have a conversation with the dog. Unknown to Hitler, an American spy...

In high school my math teacher was secretly a pirate.

All she ever wanted to do was find X.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I’m secretly addicted to masturbating with soap.

I’m trying to cum clean.

My wife found out that I've been secretly crosdressing

First I didn't understand her anger but then I realized I've been in her shoes before.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.