UPJOKE
ininnerinternalinteriorprivatesecrettowardsinboundinwardsincomingself-whisperedoutwardgazeinsideintimate

A nurse went to the hospital for her first day on the job

Due to a miscommunication she did not know the name of the ward she had been assigned. Instead she was told to take medicine to the ward since the supervisor was running late

Upon reaching the spot, she saw there were only 3 men in the hospital beds. Starting her shift, she began to hand out ...

A warehouse manager was sent to HR for disciplinary action, but he swore he was innocent

"I ain't done nothing! They after me for 'cultural insensitivity,' and I haven't done nothing!"

The HR lady frowned. "Multiple witnesses overheard your insensitive words, but please explain your side of the story."

"In the warehouse forklift drivers are assigned to use the outward lane...

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A teenaged boy goes to pick up a girl...

... for a first date. Her father sits him down in the living room next to their German Shepherd and proceeds to chat while the girl gets ready.

The boy has a nervous stomach, and the stress of wanting to make a good impression is too much for him. He feels trouble brewing down there. Eventual...

I've got an African American friend who almost always keeps to himself, and very rarely goes out. He's a little mad at me right now, though.

I guess he didn't like it when I greeted him by saying "What's up, my inward?"

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A couple go out to a posh restaurant for dinner

The place is very exclusive and features also a live band playing gentle music, and fancy expensive food and wine. They settle in and order and initially the evening is fine and enjoyable.
Lady is eating duck, which can often have small bones. She doesn't notice and swallows a bite, chased with a...

I used to love tractors when I was a kid.

I had posters of them up on my walls, dozens of toy tractors I used to play with; I remember one year my parents surprised me for my birthday with a big cake in the shape of a tractor. They were an obsession.

As I grew older, I started to notice girls and put more thought into my studies, and...

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God woke up with a hangover.

He held His temples as one of His angels knocked gently on the door. He grumbled them inward.

"Sorry to disturb You, Sir," the angel said hesitantly. "But I wanted to congratulate you on yesterday's creations. For the most part, they were spectacular!"

"Wha...?" God mumbled blearily....

4 college guys go on a weekend road trip.

They are having such a good time that they decide to play hooky and skip out on their Monday exam in psychology. They all send their professor an email saying they had a flat tire while out of town and the professor said no problem, unexpected things happen. They could take it on Tuesday.

Ce...

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A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar

The white guy says “let’s go inward”
The black guy says “What the fuck did you call me?”

Once upon a time, there was a trainee fortune teller...

Once upon a time, there was a trainee fortune teller called Sarah who hoped to learn the proper skills of divination by training alongside a renowned fortune teller, Madame Lointain (for, in these times, it was customary for each village to have a fortune teller).


After having studied for...

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Robin Hucking

I once knew a guy named Robin. Robin Hucking. Yes, Robin. He hated his name. Everyone called him Hucking, or Huck.



Great guy. Best friend I ever had. Right up to the day he died.



Hucking did have one problem. He was a high rise construction worker with a bad case of acr...

Duality of thought

You have two types of thoughts. Inward and outward. It is okay to say the outward if it won’t hurt anyone. But only certain people can say the inward.

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Long, but worth the read. Wrote it myself.

In the darkest corner of my basement I sat alone. Eyes puffy from hours of crying and yet tears still streamed down my face. A lone snot bubble formed as I wiped my nose on my sleeve. I refused to use my hands. I looked down and in the pale moonlight streaming through the window I could tell the...

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Three men arrive at heaven…

Prior to entering they must each tell their story separately on how they died as the greeter of the gates likes to hear the stories, good or bad. The first man proceeds to tell his story.

“ I arrived home from work early because I’ve had the suspicion that my wife has been cheating on me. As ...

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A couple who met on Tinder are out in the countryside riding their bikes...

The sun is shining, it's a warm day in early summer, and a couple who recently met on Tinder are riding their bicycles through the countryside. They are both attracted to each other, looking athletic in cycling gear, and getting a buzz out of the sexual tension, the sensation of speed, and the liber...

A young man and an elderly woman are travelling by train...

...and the old woman, after looking closely at the young man, leans forward and says "Excuse me, young man, are you Jewish?". And he looks up from the book he is reading and politely replies "No ma'am, I am not Jewish."

A few minutes later the old woman leans forward again and says "Excuse me...

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Great joke from a marriage counselor to my fiancé and Iast night.

In Northern Ireland there's a new Catholic priest in town at the ripe age of 25. He gives his first sermon ever, and the whole town is blown away and approaches him with lots of praise after he's finished mass. Feeling inspired, so much so that he tells the town that he will come and visit all of th...

Rachel Dolezal just announced she's writing an autobiography

it's titled "The Inward Woman"

Crushed...

Crush: A feeling of love and admiration for someone, often someone you know you cannot have a relationship with.

Crush: Deform, pulverize, or force inwards by compressing forcefully.

::-Very much same

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