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Seams Jokes

So a chicken walks into a library and says , “bock”. Sounding like “book” the librarian hands him a book. He takes it and goes happily on his way. Then the next day...

The chicken says "bock bock", and the librarian hands him two books. Away he went. The third day, chicken says "bock bock bock", and the librarian hands him three books. And so on until the fifth day, when the chicken says "bock bock bock bock bock", the librarian hands him five books and follows hi...

I have a friend who writes lyrics about sewing machines

She is a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams

They'll keep you bobbin your head.

What do you say to an overworked clothing maker?

You seamstressed.

I thought I fixed my pants, but apparently the stitching fell out...

Or sew it seams.

I got a C- for my high school sewing project. The teacher's only comment was....

Seams reasonable.

Today is National Tailor's Day...

... Or sow it seams

Doberman

A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err,which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter? "A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, lo...

What did the seamstress say to the other seamstress who looked upset?

What seams to be the problem?

A man decides to buy a parrot

A man walks into a pet shop, goes to the clerk and states that he would like to buy a parrot.

The clerk responds, "ah exellent! We happen to have three excellent parrots in stock right now. This lovely one here goes for $10,000."

Startled the man remarks that this seams like a high pri...

A friend of mine asked if it is possible to repair a torn wetsuit.

It seams sew.

My tailor really enjoys fixing my clothes

Or sew it seams.

It request

Can someone put in an IT request to reboot the reality server. This one seams to be not working very well. Viruses and overheating and stuff.

What do you call a new dress-maker who is uncomfortable with the idea of customers testing her merchandise?

A seamstress who seems stressed when you stress the seams.

Why did the seamstress keep getting knocked up?

She kept getting confused when her customers said they wanted her to take the seam in.

How can you tell if a sewing machine is trustworthy?

If it seams legit

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Old man goes to the doctor

The man tell the doctor :” every morning at 8 am I take a shit”

Doctor :” ok that’s good and regular , what seams to be the problem? “

Man :” well I never wake up before 9am”

Another Traveling Salesman Joke

Back at the beginning of 1930, there was a traveling salesman who vowed to sell his product in every state in the country. He started in Maine and worked his way across all the northern states. He was so good at selling that he never had to pay for a hotel room. He always could talk people into putt...

My pillow

I designed my own pillow. The pillow to rule all pillows. The perfect dimensions, the perfect stiffness, the perfect material. I sought the finest fabrics from around the globe and set to work on my grandest creation. It took months, but I finished. The last step was to transport it from the se...

I think I can fix one of your ripped shirts.

Well sew it seams anyway.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Crude Pianist.

A pianist scored an interview at a local restaurant. He is sent to the manager and is asked to play a few songs from memory.

The pianist says - “this is one of my favourites. It’s called ‘I Was Fucking Your Dog But It Bit My Penis So Now My Balls Hurt’”.

The manager, appalled, says - “...

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