My girlfriend made me one of those sculpted 3D cakes for my birthday but wouldn't stop reminding me how it took her all day to decorate it..

..which is surprising since to me it looked like a piece of cake

Why did Snoop Dogg go to the store before he sculpted his statue?

Fo' chisel.

A self-absorbed man wants to get his bust sculpted.

He believes that one day he'll be very important, so he asks a sculptor to carve his bust out of marble to put into a museum in the future.

The sculptor says, "Sir, I think you're getting a head of yourself."

I have a perfectly sculpted body!

It's in the trunk starting to smell.

Two men are walking...

Two men are walking when they come across a beautiful bridge,

The first man exclaimed “Wow! This bridge is gorgeous!”

The seconds man says “this is my work! But nobody ever gives me the recognition I deserve. No body goes up to me and says “hey it’s that guy who built that beautiful br...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One I heard in 4th grade and remembered out of the blue today.

A sexy pirate captain had been at sea for 6 months, she was the perfect woman, a huge rack, a tight waist, long slender legs that lead up to nice tight ass. She was perfect except for her one wooden eye of which she was extremely sensitive. After 6 months at sea she was hot for it and ready to break...

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