New York Times Jokes - 12 Hilarious New York Times Jokes

The New York Times just contracted me to row a boat for a upcoming story.

I'm the Times's new Row-man

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The chief editor of the New York Times is traveling in the Amazon jungle

He travels deep into the jungle hoping to write a story about a tribe of cannibals.

After a couple of weeks he finally locates the tribe and starts spying on them from behind some trees.

He feels a tap on the shoulder and he quickly gets captured and finds himself tied up and looks dow...

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A biker is passing the zoo when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage.

Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her under the eyes of her screaming parents.

The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back...

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New York Times headline:World Ends Tomorrow!

Women and minorities hit hardest.

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A writer from the New York Times submits an article about Bernie Sanders but it is denied.

(First post here. Sorry if it sucks)

Writer: What??? I put my heart and soul into this article? What was wrong with it?

His boss: Oh, the paper’s fine, it’s just full of grammatical errors.

Writer: Like what?

His boss: Well, for example, you didn’t capitalize “Bernie Sand...

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A New York Times reporter is interviewing some people

The first question asked is "What is your honest opinion about the shortage of meat in the world?"

The interview was a huge failure...

The African asks "What does meat mean?".

The American asks "What does shortage mean?".

The Chinese person asks "What does opinion mean?...

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Why did chicken from New York Times Online cross road?

Sorry, you have reached your limit for free articles this month.

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Trump Administration blocked CNN, BBC, New York Times, LA Times from media briefing

Looks like Little Donald needs a safe space...

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The New York Times recently published a new Hubble photograph of distant galaxies colliding.

Of course, astronomers have had pictures of colliding galaxies for quite some time now, but with the vastly improved resolution provided by the Hubble Space Telescope, you can actually see the lawyers rushing to the scene.

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Bill Clinton is working at a newsstand. A woman asks him "How can I buy the New York Times?"

He replies "Ask my wife. She'll tell you how you do it.

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"Just the bonuses for the CEO's on Wall Street equals the amount of what half of all American's make on minimum wage in a year" : New York Times

But we have a national holiday today called Labor Day

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A man walks through the Central Park in New York City

Suddenly he sees a dog attacking a small girl. He runs towards them, starts a fight with the dog and finally kills it. So he saves the life of the girl.

A policeman was watching them, walks to the man and says:

You are a hero! Tomorrow in the new York Times the first headline will be: ...

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