Scientologist Jokes - 12 Hilarious Scientologist Jokes

A Scientologist, a Catholic, and a Mormon are talking about their families.

The Scientologist jokes, "I've got 4 kids. One more and I'll have a basketball team!" The Catholic joins in and says, "Well I've got 10 kids, and one more I'll have a football team!". The Mormon speaks up and deadpans. "I've got 17 wives. One more and I'll have a golf course."

Where did Frodo find evidence that the elves were Scientologists?

In Elrond’s Cupboard

What do you call someone that hates scientologists?

Xenuphobic

How many Scientologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

That depends on the amount of workforce initiated by the individual and the amount of money given to the cult.

Have you heard about the new Scientologist car?

It's got cruise control...

What does a scientologist and an almond have in common?

They are both nuts.

A Scientologist knocked on my door and asked if he could use the toilet.

I said

“No mate. Your clearly hooked on diuretics”

How many Scientologists does it take to change a light bulb?

None: the light bulb must find $80,000 to become clear, then it will have the self-determination to change itself.

What do you get when you mix an elf and a scientologist?

Elrond Hubbard!

What's a Scientologist's favourite piece of furniture in Rivendell?

Elrond's cupboard.

Did you here about the guy who turned to Scientologists to escape his past?

Out with Xeold, in with Xenu! :P

What would you get if you cross breed a Borg with a Ferengi?

A scientologist.

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