Ya know, if you believe in reincarnation, suicide is a temporary solution to a permanent problem

anyways, the hotline asked me not to come back

My health insurance company refused to pay my bill because I believe in reincarnation.

They said I had a pre existing condition.

Humans go through reincarnation. What do shoes go through?

A reboot.

I took a very expensive masterclass in reincarnation.

I could barely afford it but hell, you only live once!

I went to a fortune teller and she said to me "Do you believe in reincarnation?"....

I said "No and i didn't belive in it when i was a frog"...

Choosing what happens in reincarnation

Harry did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep.
All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a cowl standing in front of his bed.
"What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?......and who are you?" he asked.
"This is not your bedroom,"...

Reincarnation

Apparently reincarnation is making a comeback.

I went to a reincarnation seminar last night...

...I figured what the heck, you only live once.

Ken Dodd's view on reincarnation ...

"I don't see the point of coming back as a tin of milk"

A Protestant missionary is in India trying to convert Hindus to Christianity

He teaches a Hindu man about Christianity and gives him a Bible.

He comes back a week later and sees a picture of the pope among all the other gods at the man's house.

"Why do you have a picture of the pope there?"

"Isn't he the reincarnation of Jesus?"

The missionary tol...

Psychiatrist: So how long have you believed in reincarnation?

Ever since I was a puppy.

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Reincarnation - My favorite joke of all time.

Dave comes home from the pub, drunkest he's been in a long time, and collapses into bed next to his sleeping wife. Later, he's woken by a brilliant flash of light at the end of his bed, which his still sleeping wife seems oblivious to. St. Peter appears in all his glory, standing over the two of t...

After my best friend passed away I got his sibling a parrot to soften the blow.

Then I secretly taught it to say, "Daniel, it's your brother. Reincarnation is real!"

I was talking to my wife the other day about reincarnation.

She asked "what actually is reincarnation?"

I said to her, "well, its when you die and come back as something completely different."

"So, I could come back as a pig?!" she exclaimed!!

I said, "you"re not listening are you.....?

Do you know why so many swedes believe in reincarnation?

Because they are going to be Bjorn again.

Three people die and appear before Buddha

Stunned by the divine presence before them, they lower their heads.

-Raise your heads. You were humble in life and your deeds were praiseworthy. You have earned the right to a reincarnation of your choice. You have much to accomplish yet though.

One of the people takes a step forward a...

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Reincarnation.

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death.
Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.
True to his word, he made the first contact:
"Marion......

To those of you who believe in reincarnation:

YOL∞

I'm starting to think that reincarnation is a real thing.

I mean just take a look at the number of reposts on this sub.

What is reincarnation? A cowboy asks his friend.

It starts, his old pal told him, when your life comes to an end.

They wash your neck and comb your hair and clean your fingernails,

And put you in a padded box away from life's travails.

The box and you goes in a hole that's been dug in the ground.

Reincarnation starts in...

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Reincarnation

Dave, who was completely wasted, returns home late at night and slips into bed next to his wife Susan, who was already tight asleep.
When he woke up, he saw a weird looking man standing next to his bed in a long white dress.

-"Who are you?", asked Dave.

-"I'm Saint Peter!"

-"...

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A priest, an atheist, and a monk walk into a bar.

~~A Catholic priest, a Buddhist monk, and an atheist walk into a restaurant~~

~~A Catholic priest, a Buddhist monk, and an atheist walk into a restaurant.~~

After they put in their orders, the three strike up a conversation about what they believe awaits them in the afterlife.

T...

If reincarnation was real, I'd come back as a table cloth

I'd get laid three times a day and pulled off at night.

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I could vaguely hear my neighbours arguing about reincarnation. I wanted to hear more.

So I killed myself and became a fly on the wall.

There was once a viking who believed in reincarnation.

He was hoping that after dying he'd be Bjorn again.

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Drunken reincarnation

James, as usual, came home really late one Saturday night after being at the bar all night drinking. Not only was he drunk, he was sloppy drunk. He carefully crept into bed next his wife, who fell sleep angry hours earlier, and gave her a goodnight kiss on the check in hopes that she wouldn’t wake u...

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A Chinese man dies and goes to hell

He arrives in time for Hell orientation. As he walks into the orientation room, he looks around and finds an empty seat and sits down. The orientation staff woman starts off the meeting with a roll-call:

"Do we have Mr. Johnson present?"

"Here," says a man.

"Mr. Smith?"
...

Reincarnation is really a thing.

I used to be a wild dog but now I'm a massive boar.

A boy and a man sit on a couch together.

The boy says to the man, "Yeah, well, I didn’t believe in reincarnation when I was your age either."

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Pretty meta bro

Cake day posts are annoying and uncreative, so many people make anti cake day posts. These can be just as bad, and are only rarely funny if they are posted on the poster's cake day, (aka: anti cake day cake day posts). This possess a bit of a conundrum, as here in Reddit, we make fun of things, but ...

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Doug comes home very drunk one night...

He sneaks upstairs to his bedroom and passes out next to his wife, Shirley. All of a sudden, his room fills with a bright light and hovering over the foot of the bed is an angel. Doug is very frightened and has no idea what is going on. The angel says, "Doug, don't be afraid. I am come to tell y...

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A week ago my Jeep broke down and I had to scrap it

Today I found out my friend got the exact same model Jeep.

I'm pretty sure its a reincarnation

Cindy and Lucy were to high-powered DC lawyers.

They had been childhood friends, gone to the same law school, and gone into partnership together. Through their hard work, they became well known in the DC area and bumped elbows with politicians.

One summer, they decided to hold a fourth of july party and invite all the members of congress....

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3 Men's Afterlives

Three men get into a horrible car accident, and all three die together. As they are waiting in limbo, they start talking about the Afterlife. As it turns out, one man is Muslim, one man is Buddhist, the last is Christian.

The Muslim says, "I'm going to enjoy my 40 virgins until my wife shows ...

My grandfather once told me 'When i was your age, I thought I was going to be 10 all my life too.

So I said 'And when I was your age, I didn't believe in reincarnation either'.

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