The Joy of Sects

A man crossing a bridge sees a suicidal chap about to take a big dive, Thinking he could be the good Samaritan, he stops and calls to the jumper.

GS: "Hey Buddy, Lets talk, Don't do anything rash, life is good, lets find something to talk about, Say tell me friend, are you religious?"

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two scientists naming periplaneta americana

Sc 1 : so what should we nickname it?
Sc 2 : idk um..... penisinsect
Sc 1 : naah
Sc 2 : um so dickbug ?
Sc 1 : nope
Sc 2 : cockroach ?
Sc 1 : HELL YEAH!!!

*happy scientist noises in the background*

In the word "scent", is the S or the C silent?

Not even *sc*ience can explain that...

SC shooting suspect Dylan Roof has been apprehended.

He was charged with impersonating a police officer.

I wouldn't say Scotsmen are cheap but...

A Scotsmen and a Jewish man were having a magnificent meal at one of the most expensive restaurants in The world. After the meal their waiter came over to present the check and a Scottish voice said "that's all right laddie just gae the check to me".

Headlines in the local newspaper next day ...

Talent show

A guy walks into a bar with an octopus. He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus. He can play any musical instrument in the world. He hears everyone in the crowd laughing at him, calling him an idiot, etc. So he says that he will wager $5...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman has just removed her clothes to get into the shower when she hears a knock on the door.

Woman: "Who is it?"

Blind Guy: "It's the blind guy!"

Woman: *Well, he can't see me anyway....* (opens the door)

Blind Guy: "Nice tits! Where do you want these blinds?"


Credit: A barber in SC years ago. If it's a repost, I'm sorry.

What is a pirates favorite article of clothing?

His sc*aaarrrr*f

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