UPJOKE
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The little Indian boy asked his dad "How did Rose Petal get her name?"

The father replied. "Well son, when your mother went out for the first time after your sister was born, she stepped on a rose petal. So we named her that."

The son nodded.

"By the way," the father continued. "Why do you want to know, Bear Shit?"

(NOTE: This is just for laughs, a...

There were two sisters, one called Petal and one called Fridge.

One day, Petal asks her parents, "Why did you call me Petal?" and they replied "Because when you were a baby, a petal fell on you." And then Fridge says "bllaaarrarararraraaarg".

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Four guys have been going to the same fishing trip for many years.

Two days before the group is to leave, Ron's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.

Ron's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do. Two days later the three mates get to the camping site only to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, an...
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A father names has 3 daughters named Petal, Flower, and Brick

Petal asks "dad, why was I named Petal?"
He says a petal fell from out of nowhere and landed on her forehead right after she was born so he named her Petal.

Flower asks "so, dad why was I named Flower?"
He says a flower fell from out of nowhere and landed on her forehead as well right a...

What’s Waluigi’s favorite guitar petal?

The Cry Baby

Got my friend William to petal a bike connected to my TV.

You could say it runs on Will power.

Two sisters

There were once two sisters, one called Petal and one called Fridge. One day, Petal asks her parents, "Why did you call me Petal?" and they replied "Because just after you were born, a petal fell on you."

"Bllaaarrarararraraaarg", says Fridge from the corner.





Edit: neat...

"Why did you name me Lily?"

"Father," said Lily, "why did you name me Lily?" Lily's father smiled, "On the day you were born, a gentle breeze carried a lily through the window, and it gently fell onto your forehead, and so we named you Lily." Lily smiled at her father, and went back to playing.
On that same day, Lily's sist...

"Father, why is my name 'Rose'?

"Because just after you were born, a rose petal landed on your head when we were leaving the hospital."


"Is that also why my sister's name is 'Daisy'?"


"Yes it is."


"eherrnnanenhahenrnanehh"


"Quiet, Brick"

A young man is picking the petals of the flower...

19th century:
"She loves me, she loves me not..."
20th century:
"She'll sleep with me, she won't..."
21st century:
"I'm a man, I'm a woman..."

Kid1: Hey Dad why am I called lily?

Dad: Because a lily petal fell on your head when you were a baby.

Kid2: Hey Dad why am I called rose?

Dad: Because a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby.

Kid3: herdurrrrahduhrgh#%*?

Dad: Shut up Cinderblock

A woman is walking home with her three daughters.

The eldest daughter turns to her and asks, "Mummy, how did I get my name?"

"Well sweetie, when we were bringing you home from the hospital, a rose petal landed on your head! So that's why we named you Rose".

The second daughter, now curious, asks the same question.

"Well darling...

A mother has two daughters and a son.

A mother has two daughters and a son. One day her first daughter comes up to her and says: "Mother, why am I named Rose?", to which she replies: "That's because when you were a baby a rose landed on your head".

Her second daughter later comes up to her and says: "Mother, why am I called Petal...

3 little girls walk up to their father

The first little girl asks, "Daddy, why is my name Rose?"
and the dad says, "because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head, so we decided to call you rose."
The second little girl asks, "Daddy, why is my name Lily?"
and the dad says, "because when you were born, a lily petal ...

A father was sitting at the table with his two daughters

Petal and Fridge.

Petal said, "Dad, why is my name Petal?"

Her dad answered, "Because a flower petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born."

Then Fridge said, "HUURRGRRUWAHGUWAAAAAH!"

A mother and her 2 daughters are at a cemetery

One of the kids is curious and asks her mom “Mommy, why am I named Rose?”

Their mom replies “Because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head.”

Her second daughter asks “Mommy, why am I named Daisy?”

Her mom replies “Because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell o...

In my past life, I was a warrior for an Indian Tribe, and was madly in love with the chiefs daughter

In this tribe we were named after the first thing our mothers saw when we were born. And His daughter, Lily Petal, was absolutely beautiful, and everyday I sighed knowing there was nothing I could do to ever win her attention. I was just boring old Falling Rock, a nobody warrior.

But one day,...

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Three children ask their parents how they got their names

The parents reply to the first child, “That’s east Rose, not long after you were born a rose petal fell onto your head”.

The second child butts in, “But dad where did you you get the name Daisy?”

“The same as your sister, a daisy petal fell on your head”

“Mughuahuhwawawah”
...

I left a trail of rose petals from the front door, up the stairs, and to the bedroom.

I sprinkled some more over the bed.

I sat in the corner wearing nothing but her beautiful silk robe with a bottle of vintage wine on ice on the end table.

I heard the door open and her walking up the stairs, I wanted this to be the most romantic evening she's ever had, I was slightly...

Two elderly couples get together to play bridge every week.

The ladies are in the kitchen making snacks and the old guys are talking. One says to the other "we went to see a movie last week and it was excellent but I can't remember the name of it. I thinks it's uhhh... what's the name of the flower with the red petals and the thorns?" His friend answers "a r...

3 kids

A mother has 3 kids.


The first kid goes up to her mom and says,
"Mommy, why I am I named petal?"


The mom responds, "Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head."


The second child goes up to her mom and says, "Why am I named Rose?"


Th...

"There are Five Cows on a farm"...

One mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, "Momma, why is my name Rose?" The mommy cow replies, "Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born." The next calf comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?" The mother replies, "Because honey, a ...

A man and his 3 daughters

This was one of my favorites from middle school:
So a man has 3 daughters and he is sitting alone in his room one night.
His oldest daughter comes in and asks, "Dad, why did you name me Rose?" He responds, "Well when you were born a rose petal fell on your forehead."
She leaves and the seco...

Names can be meaningful

There were 3 little brothers: Flower, Petal and Brick.

The kids were wondering how they got their names so they decided to go ask dad!

Flower: Dad why did you name me Flower?

Dad: You see kid, when you were born, a tiny little flower dropped down on your head!

Petal: Dad ...

A little girl asks her father how she got her name

"well honey a rose petal landed on your head as we were carrying you out of the hospital, so we named you rose."

his younger daughter runs up to him "and how did i get my name daddy?"

"well honey a lily petal landed on your head as we were carrying you out of the hospital, so we named ...

A child walks up to their parents and asks

A child walks up to their parents and asks “hey, mom and dad. Why did you name me Petal?”

The parents smile and reply, “When we got you home, a petal from a flower in the garden fell on your forehead”. The child satisfied with the answer walked away.

The younger sibling came up and a...

3 girls and thier mother were walking through a park...

Girl 1 turned to her mother and said...

Girl 1: Mommy, why is my name Lily?

Mom: Because when we took you out of the Hospital, a Lily petal fell on your head.

The second Daughter, now curious, asks the same question...

Girl 2: Why is my name Rose?

Mom: When we took...

A child asked his mom, "Mom how did I get my name?"

"Well Rose, when you were born a rose petal fell on your head, so we called you Rose"

Another child came up to her " Mom how did you get my name?"

"Well Daisy, when you were born, a daisy petal fell on you, so that's what we called you.

Child 3: "Mmmm Uuuuuuuuuu Mmmmmmmmm Eeeee...

Two older couples are hanging out together.

While the ladies are talking in the kitchen, Jim said, "Bill, we ate at a really good restaurant the other night. The food was good, the prices were reasonable, and the service was excellent."

Bill replied, "Oh yeah? What's the name of the place, I've been looking for a new restaurant."...

A girl goes up to her mother

“Mum why am I called Rose?” she asks

“Because when you were born a rose petal fell on your head”

Her sister asks the same question the next day.

“Mum why am I called Lily?”

“Because when you were born a lily petal fell on your head”

“OW KAHF HSHA DISHWKSDKC UEO”...

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What's the similarity between a nice bunch of flowers and a bitch-demon from hell?

One has pretty petals, the other is the British Home Secretary.

Kinda dark but still SFW

A woman was walking home with her 3 daughters.
The first one asked here
“Mom why did you chose my name”
and the mom says
“Well, when we were walking home from the hospital a rose petal fell on your head so we named you Rose”
The second daughter then asks.
“What about me?”
The ...

A family was walking home one day.

Daughter 1: Daddy, why did you name me Rose?

Father: Well, Rose, it’s because that on the way back home from the hospital the day you were born, a rose petal got blown by the wind, and it landed right on your head.

Daughter 2: Dad, why am I named Maple?

Father: You were named M...

My friend told me this joke recently.

A girl asked her mother why she was named Rose.

Her mother replied, "Well, it's because as we were walking out of the hospital with you, a rose petal fell on your head. Because of that, we decided to name you Rose."

Rose asked, "So is that why my brother is named Leaf?"

"Yup." R...

A little girl, around 10 years old, walks into a bakery

The baker's wife, taking care of the sales at the till, can't help but notice her deformed face, her palate cleft and her whole distorted body, forcing her to use crutches to move around. The wife, thinking what a poor life she must have had, asks kindly what she could do to help the lil girl :
...

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A girl a priest and a dog....

A little girl is walking her dog, when a priest comes along and says,
"Hello, little girl. What's your name?"
She says, "Rosepetal."
He says, "That's a nice name."
She says, "Yeah. When I was a little baby a
rose petal fell on my head and my daddy
called me Rosepetal ever since....

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A little girl asks how she got her name.

Her mom says “Well when we were bringing you home from the hospital a rose petal landed on your face, so we named you rose. We named your brother ray because a beam of sunlight hit him on the way home from the hospital too.”

From the next room the third siblings says

“Hyrnagamadrgs!”...

One spring afternoon, 3 were having a picnic in their garden.

Suddenly, the eldest daughter asks, “Mommy, why did you and Daddy name me Lily?”


To which the mother replies, “Well Lily, you may not know this, but all 3 of you girls were born in this very garden and when you finally were born, a single Lily petal fell on your head, and so we named you ...

A father Is lounging in his study..

When one of his daughters walks in and asks "Daddy.. why is my name Rose?" The father replys "Because when you were born, we dropped a rose petal on your face." The second daughter barges in and asks "Daddy why Is my name Daisy?" The father replys "Because when you were born, we dropped a daisy peta...

A cow gives birth to 4 cavles, and one day her oldest comes up and asks "Mother, why was I names 'Lotus'

The mother replies saying "Because when you were born, a lotus petal fell on your head". The next day, the mothers second oldest came up and asked why they were called Rose, and the mother replies "Because a rose petal fell on your head when you were born". Her third child asked why they were named ...

A nurse was walking through a maternity ward, checking on the new arrivals and their mothers..

She walked into the first room where a woman had hold of her precious newborn child with the face of an angel. She asked the mother what the name was, to which the mother replied,

"I called her Rose because when i was going into labour, a rose petal drifted in through the window and landed on...

How does a rose drive?

It uses the petals.

One morning, a little girl goes into the living room and asks her mother...

"Why did you name me Rose, mom?"

Mom says, "As we we leaving the hospital after you were born, a rose petal fell on your head. So we named you Rose."

The daughter says, "Is that why my little brother is named Leaf and little sister is named Rain?"

"Yes," Mom says. "Exactly."...

Story of names

Three kids are in the car with there mom.

Kid 1: mom how was I named?

Mom: well when we were taking you out of the hospital a lily fell on your head so we decided to call you lily.

Kid 2: what about me?

Mom: when we left the hospital with you a rose petal fell on your h...

Dad why did you name me rose?

Child 1: "Dad why did you name me rose?"

Dad: "Because when you were born a little rose petal fell on your forehead, it was such a beautiful moment."

Child 2: "And why did you name me Lily?"

Dad: "Because when you were born a little Lily fluttered onto your forehead"

Chi...

Children’s names

A mother and her children were talking. “Mom, why is my name rose?”said Rose.
Mom replied “when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head, so we named you Rose.”
“Why am I called Poppy?”said another child.
“Because when you were a baby, a Poppy petal fell on your head, so we called y...

A father and a mother have three children. One day the first child comes up and says...

"Father. Mother. Why is my name Rose?"

And the Father says, "When you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." The child nods and goes away the second oldest then starts wondering about her name so she goes up to her father.

"Father why is my name Raina?"

"Because when you we...

A gentleman and his wife are out to dinner with some friends.

In conversation, the man goes to tell his friend about a restaurant he took his wife to the other day.

"Oh, it was absolutely fantastic. The food was perfect, the service was quick. For $12 we got five plates absolutely filled with the best food we've ever eaten! I'll never forget this restau...

A mother of 3 children was at the park one day...

Her oldest child came up to her on the bench.
"Mama, why is my name Rose?"
"Because when you were born, a rose petal fell onto your head, and we read it as a sign to name you Rose."
The mother's second child came running up and asked:
"Mama why is my name Lily?"
"Because at the hospit...

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There is a store in Spain that sells exquisite handmade writing instruments.

This store has all kinds of bespoke fountain pens and rollerball pens and even ball point pens. There are pens made of fine hard woods and precious metals inlaid with all kinds of gems. These pens are all handmade by artisans who have been in the business for generations.

But what really sets...

Two elderly couples are chatting over tea.

Afterwards, as the women excuse themselves and return the dishes to the kitchen, one of the men turns to the other and tells him about a fantastic dinner he and his wife had enjoyed the other evening.
The second man then asks him where they ate.
"Hmm," ponders the first man. "You know that fl...

Mom why do they call me...

[So my friend told me this joke today]

A little girl walks into her mother's room and asks 'mom, why did you name me daisy?'
'Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head,' she replied.
The next child walks in and says 'mom, why did you name me rose?'
'Because when you...

The Pterodactyl’s Dilemma

Once there was a young Pterodactyl who really needed to use the restroom, but was too shy to do so in front of the other dinosaurs. So it decided to fly up to the tallest tree he could see and tried to do so there. As soon as it reached the top, the Pterodactyl thought to itself “I can’t do it here,...

Hey dad, why did you and mom name my sister Rose?

"Because a rose petal fell on her head when she was a baby, dear son," replied the Dad.

"Oh, thanks for telling me Dad!"

"No problem, Toaster Oven."

There's a group of people who say they for years they've adored these three sunflowers growing together...

...and then three sunflowers which looked the same and just as beautiful were planted next to them but did not grow very tall. Purely because of this, the people insisted and raged that the new sunflowers were an abomination that totally destroyed the beauty and awe of the three tall sunflowers perm...

2 elderly couples were walking down a street, the husbands were talking to each other and the wives were talking to each other...

Husband 1: "I went to a restaurant recently and it was absolutely delightful. For the first time my wife really enjoyed herself:

Husband 2: "That sounds wonderful, I should take my wife there, what was the name of the place?"

H1: "Uh, lets see... a flower.. it's got red petals.. green ...

A man with three daughters

Was sitting on his couch one day when his oldest daughter comes up to him and asks, dad why did you rose? He replies, well when you were born me and your mother took you to the park and a rose petal fell on you forehead, so we decided to name you rose. She accepts this and goes on her way. A little ...

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"Mama, why is my brother's name Leaf?"

"Because when he was born, a leaf fell on his head."

"Well, why is my sister named Rose?"

"When she was born, a rose petal fell on her head."

"Then why is my name Brick?"

"Look, we just got sick of the nature theme, okay? Deal with it and be grateful your name isn't JizzA...

Heard about the do-it-yourself home rodeo?

Cook a romantic candle lit dinner for your girlfriend. Have a good bottle of wine, and then lead her quietly into the bedroom. You have already spread rose petals on top of the bed. Low seductive music in the background. Erotically take each other’s clothes off, get her up on the bed on all four...

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Vodoo Dick

A woman complains to her friend that she hasn't been laid in years and she feels so lonely. Her friend suggests that she visit the Haitian store and she will get help. The woman is curious so she goes to the store and bashfully explains her situation to the store owner. He pulls out a wooden phallus...

Kids Names

One morning a mother was sitting at her kitchen table when her oldest daughter walks in and asks her, "Mommy, why did you name me Rose?"

"Well," says the mother, "the day you were born a rose petal floated in through the open window and landed on your nose, so we named you Rose."

The ...

The Daughters Names

One day, a little girl ran up to her Father.

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!! Why did you call me Rose?"

The father smiled and picked her up on his knee.

"You see, when you were born, and we brought you home, the first thing that touched your head was a rose petal. So we decided to call y...

Names

The mother of three children is lying in the hospital on her death bed.
Her daughter Rose walks in, "Mom, why did you name me rose?" "Because the day you were born a rose petal fell on your head so we named you 'Rose.'"
Then, her daughter Orchid asked her, "Mom, then how come I'm named Orchid...

Middle Ages Joke

Flower: I will droop my petals a little.

Aspiring gardener: THOU WILT NOT.

Daddy, how did you name me?

A father is resting outside on a summer afternoon when his young daughter comes up to him and asks, "Daddy, how did I get my name?" He replied, "Well sweetheart, when you were born your mother and I didn't know what to name you so we brought you home from the hospital and set you down in the nursery...

If you think your girlfriend has a great sense of humor...

try leaving a trail of rose petals leading to a sink full of dirty dishes.

Why couldn't the flower ride its bike?

its petals broke.

Am I guilty of being romantic? You be the judge.

A bottle of champagne on ice, sweet love songs playing in the background, a trail of rose petals lead to a bed on which I'm lying naked. The bedroom door slowly opens and I whisper those three special words....
Happy Birthday Dad.

An elderly couple visits their friends

After a fine dinner, the men retreat into the library to smoke cigars and to have a conversation.

"Last week me and my wife ate at this great restaurant."

"Really? What was it called?"

"Let me think....what's that flower with a yellow center and white petals?"

"A daisy?"...

25th wedding anniversary

Shortly before our 25th wedding anniversary, my husband sent 25 long-stemmed yellow roses to me at my office. A few days later, I plucked all the petals and dried them. On the night of our anniversary, I spread the petals over the bed and lay on top of them, wearing only a negligee.

As I’d ho...

— You know, that doctor actually managed to improve my memory.

— Really? That's great! What's his name?

— Umm... you know that flower, the beautiful one, with red petals, a nice smell and thorns?

— You mean a rose?

— Yes, rose, exactly, thank you! (turning to his wife) Rose, honey, what's my doctor's name?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The three guys were discussing how to please their wives...

The Italian says "After we make love, I cover her with little chocolates, and when they melt from her body heat, I lick them off. She loves it!"

The Frenchman says "After sex, I cover her with rose petals, then gently blow them off. It drives her wild!"

The American says "Af...

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A young innocent girl is about to go on her 1st date (nsfw)

She is given some words of advice and warnings by her mother; "Look darling, they all want the same thing, so do be very careful and don't you ever let him;

1. kiss your lips. Your lips are as soft as rose petals and will shrivel,
2. or touch your breast. They are like of thin crystal and ...

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