Replacing Jokes

If I ever see him again I'll tear him apart with my bear hands.

...of what little joy you had left in your life

Verizon Wireless customer service.

I guess French ships don’t always last forever

For example, if we wanted to say, "it's in the fridge", we'd instead say "it's inside the fridge".

One day, my parents caught onto this. They asked me why I was saying "inside" instead of "in".

I responded,

"it's an inside joke".

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has ac... read more

...often goes undetected.

It’ll be called The Megalodon.

>!Welcome back, cotter!!<

That was a drain.

It would be lit.

But everyone knows a Rolling Stone gathers no Moss.

This is because it's a Carbon dating app.

Joe is getting fed up with constantly replacing his fence posts and barbed wire. Chasing down the bull and getting him back to the field is no easy task either. So he goes to his neighbor Steve for advice. Steve being the nice neighborly farmer says "I've got plenty of barbed wire you can use to rep... read more

If you want to be original, you should really approach them from some different Engels.

So I can drink more, and care less

For the Christmas period.

So the teacher came in and introduced himself. He asked the pupils to introduce themselves and tell the class what is their hobby.



He pointed a kid and asked him the question. He stood up and responded "Hi, my name is Andrew and I love to fish at the lake while watching sunset." The t... read more

It will be called the InterNYET.

It was exhausting

Its either sink or swim.

A ferrous wheel

It's got a great key change at the end

Whether you like it, or not.

But once I did, I started seeing things in new light.

I keep having troubles getting the counterfeit.

(Its probably been done before because the pun is so obvious but I haven't yet heard it.)

He is very excited as this is his first venture since qualifying. He sells ok on everyday items like bread, but runs into trouble with his 'special items'. One day he makes beautiful cakes, however his customers only want pastries that day. So the next day he makes pastries, but now they want muffin... read more

Upon arriving, he asked the farmer what had happened.

“Well” the farmer said, “I was working in my barn, replacing the oil filter on the tractor when I heard somebody scream, then a loud ‘wham’, and then silence. I rushed outside and saw my farmhand, dead in the middle of the yard, with a poo... read more