A man's car gets haunted by a ghost

So he decided to go to a priest to get it removed.

The priest performs the exorcism, and it works! He successfully removes the ghost from the car. He says to the man "That'll be $250." The man refuses to pay, and so a couple weeks later his car gets repossessed.

My house got repossessed

I feel like all the money I spent on the exorcism was wasted

The star attraction at my local aquarium has been repossessed.

Turns out it was a loan shark .

Two Sisters...

One blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their own stock.

They ...

You know what happens when you don’t pay your exorcist?

You get repossessed.

If you don’t keep up your regular payments to your exorcist...

Your home may be repossessed

I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism...

If I don't pay it back I'm going to get repossessed

A man took out a loan to pay for an exorcist...

However he couldn’t make the repayments so the house was repossessed.

So my brother got an exorcism

Went fine until he fell arrears on the payments and got repossessed

A snail saw a slug looking sad whilst watching a couple of beetles scurrying about having fun.

"What's up mate, life in the slow lane getting you down?", asked the snail.

The slug just looked at him and replied, "No. Surely it's obvious why I'm so down? I've had my home repossessed!"

Why does an exorcist never ask for a down payment?

Because if you don't pay, he'll just repossess your house.

What happens if you don't pay the priest, who comes to exorcise your haunted house?

Your house gets repossessed.

One day, legendary musician Sting becomes bored of music, and decides to try his luck at day trading.

He does a few online courses and begins trading.

On the first day Sting loses some money, but learns from it, and unpertrubed by the small losses he continues with it. On the second day, Sting loses a bit less, and learns even more. Happy with the results, he decides to sink some more money i...

"Old McDonald had a farm..."

sang the cheery repossession man.

I told a poltergeist that I'd give him $10,000 to leave my home forever

But when I didn't pay he came back and repossessed my house

This is an awfully hard time for me financially.

Last month I was unable to pay the bills to my exorcist and as a consequence I have been repossessed.

Todd was dirt broke, no skills, and not the brightest bulb in the light-shop.

And to make it worse, his mom was always on his case about getting out and making something of himself. One day, sick of her nagging, he answered a help wanted ad.

“So you think you have what it takes to be a Repo man, Todd?” the interviewer asked.

“Sure, man. I got this.”

But T...

You've got to be careful when getting your house exorcised

If you can't afford the payments the priest will repossess your house

what do you call it when the devil takes your car?

repossessed ...

I couldn’t afford to pay the priest who carried out my exorcism.

He repossessed my home.

Math joke

A man was having a really bad day. His girlfriend left him, his car got repossessed and he lost his job. There was nothing left for him in his town so on a whim he took a taxi to the airport. He walked in and went up to the lady behind the counter and says “put me on a flight that will change my lif...

I owe money to the ghost of a banker.

He tried to repossess my house.

Woman could not afford to pay her exorcism bills.

Her soul got repossessed...

Cletus takes out a loan for a new truck.

He keeps up with the payments, and everything seems to be going well, when suddenly the bank repossesses it without warning.

He decides to go to the police, and it turns out he's not the only person who's been ripped off by this particular bank.

After talking to the police chief, it'...

Have you heard the one about the family who couldn't afford to pay the exorcist?

Their house was repossessed.

What do you call a haunted house, whose ghost could not pay the rent?

Repossessed

A man moves into a haunted house

After several nights of ghosts keeping him awake with their moaning and moving furniture around the house he calls an exorcist. A priest eventually comes round, performs some incantations, and sprinkles holy water around. The man was grateful for the priest's help with this haunting but says that ...

Republicans should have done more to stop predatory mortgages.

Maybe their house wouldn’t have been repossessed.

Herschel is down on his luck and flat broke after getting fired from his job.

He prays to God "please God let me win the lottery tomorrow or my car will be repossessed".

Tomorrow comes, and Herschel doesn't win. He loses his car and prays to God again "please God let me win the lottery tomorrow or I'll lose my house".

Tomorrow comes and Herschel does not win. He...

[Long] Reposted joke

So there's this guy named Theodore. As a child, he was rather tough, almost on the gangster side, but kept to the rules so he wouldn't face too much punishment. In college, he studied a bit of law, and often worked out at the gym. Although he dropped out of college early, he was the perfect candidat...

Stedman, the repo guy

Once there was a man named John. He had recently got a new job in which he was working for a gangster, repossessing vehicles for him. He was working with many other repossession guys as well.

The best out of all of them was Stedman. He was known better as Sted. He had been working with the ga...

I've heard that if you choose to do something you love, you'll never have to work a day in your life

Apparently loving to lay on the couch all day, watching TV and doing nothing doesn't apply and my stuff gets repossessed next Tuesday.

My house was haunted, so I got it exorcised by an expert.

Unfortunately, I couldn't afford the payment and it got repossessed.

A pious woman was possessed by a demon

She went to her priest, desperate to relieve herself of this burden. After a few silent rituals, she was rid of the demon. As she was exiting though, the priest extended his hand, signifying he was due payment. The woman replied, "Oh, but father, I have no money!"

She was repossessed.

I refused to waste money paying an exorcist...

so he repossessed my house.

What happens when you don't pay the exorcist...

You get repossessed.

Nope not mine. May be a repost. If so upvotes to that person.

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