UPJOKE
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Rays Jokes

What do dentists call x-rays?

Tooth Pics!

Where do manta rays learn to read?

In elemantaray school.

Doctor [looking at my x-rays] : this is exactly what I was afraid of.

Me: What?

Doctor: Skeletons

My friend betrayed me on the test when I asked him where the light rays parallel to the principle axis of a concave mirror meet

I mean, he did try to motivate me by shouting "Focus! Focus!", but that hardly helps.

Nvidia teams up with Oceana nonprofit to track manta rays' travelling habits

They're applying their latest ray tracing technology.

Where do naughty rays of light go?

Prism

(Note: I made this joke up. Sorry if this little note refracts from the humour.)

What was the radioactive senior citizen's super power?

*Gramma Rays*

Steve Irwin would still be alive today if he put on sunscreen

It protects you from harmful rays

Everyone knows you synthesize vitamin D from UV rays and that's fine...

So how come whenever I say, "I love getting the D from my sun," people always freak out?

A group of cosmic rays establishes a stock trading company

A group of cosmic rays establishes a stock trading company. As energetic as they come, they start off with a bang. With a handful of eager young protons joining their ranks, they begin to see extremely positive gains in their investments in no time. They're making more money than they know what to d...

why don't light rays like prisms?

prisms always tell them to get bent

How do you protect yourself from gamma rays and x-rays?

You don't bomb pearl harbor.

What do you call the fleshy-mouth things on Manta Rays?

Manta-bles

Doctor : Your X-rays show you swallowed a light bulb.

Me: I guess you could say that I'm..

Doctor: please don't do...

Me: Lit AF

Doctor: get out!

Two guys named Ray walk into a bar . .

They tell the bartender “This place sucked until we walked in here.” “Why’s that?” Says the bartender.
“Because we’re Rays in the bar!!!”

I found a copy of Mission Impossible 3 among my blu-rays the other day...

I thought to myself: 'It's not really impossible if he's already done it twice."

Using high powered gamma rays, creatures on Mars have established total mind control over Donald. And Hillary. And the liberal press. And the Alt-right.

Hey, all I know is what I read on Facebook.

(But it explains everything!)

White flags

The American flags planted on the Moon by the Apollo astronauts have been exposed to high levels of UV rays for decades. This has bleached them pure white.

So now it looks like the French landed there.

TIL Steve Irwin had a failed "Crocodile Hunter" sunscreen brand.

Apparently it didn't protect you from harmful rays

A woman had chronic headaches.

She had them since she was in her early teens, and had gone to the doctor, had x-rays, scans, medication, and nothing seemed to help. Finally, she went to a headache specialist, and he told her that her left breast was the cause. The only treatment was to remove the breast. The good news was that he...

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