How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer," and the party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb," do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform pre...

How would you write “I changed a light bulb” on your resume?

Single-handedly managed the successful upgrade and deployment of new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns and zero safety incidents.

A politician uses statistics like a drunk uses a street light.

For support, rather than illumination.

I just got a how-to book for flipping on a lightswitch

It's called *Process of Illumination*.

I Hate Trying to Figure Out Which Light Switch Goes to Which Room

It's a process of illumination.

I'm gradually figuring out what the best lighting options are for my house.

It's a process of illumination.

A doctor walks into his patients room...

A doctor walks into his patients room holding his chest x-ray, moving over to the illumination board he pins it up. After staring at it for a second he turns it over, and again, going back and forth a few times. He turns to the patient shifting nervously and says:


*"You know...

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