me: onion rings and a bottle of wine for the table

**waiter:** white or red?

**me, trying to impress my date:** whichever onion the chef prefers

Got this friend who always drops french fries when he eats them. I told him to try onion rings because they're easier to hold, so he switched but it's still a problem.

They're dropping like fries.

I just saw an onion ring.

So I answered it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pope goes into a steakhouse

A waiter immediately rushes up to him, but before he can say anything the Pope holds up his hand. "Please," says the Pope, "no fuss. I just wanted to slip away for a few hours and enjoy some good food." And the waiter gives him a nod and says, "No problem, let's find you a quiet seat at the back whe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend told me this joke a while ago, and I thought that it was pretty good:

A man goes to a restaurant and sits down to eat.

The waiter comes by and asks him what he would like to eat.

The man says, “I’ll have one of your world-famous burgers with lettuce and onions on it.”

The waiter responds, “I’m sorry sir, but we’re fresh out of onions.”

“Oh,...

Why does Mr Potato Head have a mobile?

In case Mr Onion Rings

Two homeless men are dumpster diving for food outside of a synagogue...

One of the men pops his head out and says to the other, “Man, these onion rings are really chewy!”

Courtesy of my five year old nephew

What do you call an onion ring shaped like a bell?


An onion ding!

Pizza for dinner

Someone knocked at my door last evening. When I opened it, I saw a guy from Domino's holding a chicken pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and onion rings.

"I haven't ordered any pizza," I said. "This must be a mistake."

"No, it's not," he replied. "Your neighbor forgot his Facebook pass...

A man walks into a bar, and begins reading the menu overhead the smoking hot bartender.

The sign reads as follows:


* Nachos $4


* Hamburger $3


* Hotdog $2


* Grilled Chicken Sandwich $3


* Grilled Cheese $2


* Fries, Onion Rings, and Tater Tots $1.50


* Handjob $10


After he looks over the menu for a mome...

Your mama is so fat…..

Your daddy proposed to her with an onion ring.

Why did the burger sit beside the telephone?

Incase onion rings

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