I was in a bar the other day, when a girl asked me, “What do you do?” I responded, “I race cars.” Screeching with excitement, she shot back, “Do you win many races!?” I sighed...

“No, the cars are much faster.”

Race car backwards is race car

But race car sideways is how Paul Walker died

My little cousin was showing off that he sleeps in a race car bed

Jokes on him I sleep in a real car

What did the race car say to the bartender?[OC]

Rum rum!

A German race car driver once told me why he never goes down on a woman.

Because the intake is too close to the exhaust.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a movie about Hitler in a race car?

The fast and the führerious

What did the cat say in the race car?

MMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Context: My 5 year old told me this today. I'm guessing he didn't make it up...

What do we want?!! - Race car noises!!

When do we want em?!!

Neeoooooww!!!....

IM A RACE CAR DRIVER

I DRIVE A BUS WITH BLACKS,BROWNS,WHITES,OTHERS..

The quickest way to become a millionaire is to become a professional race car driver...

You just need to start off as a billionaire

Why did everyone turn away when the race car drove past?

It had a SPOILER on it.

Depressed race car mechanic.

Scene: a psychiatrists practice:


'Doc, I'm a mechanic I work for a racecar driver. It's utterly depressing ... I get to fix his car up, maintain it, tune it to perfection. But never -not once- have I been allowed to take it for a spin. It's crushing a depressing to think that such a wonde...

Her: What do you do?

Me: I race cars.

Her: Do you win many races?

Me: No, the cars are much faster.

What's the difference between a velodrome and a palindrome?

For one, you have to use a bicycle. For the other, you can use a race car.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A class of high school art students are broken into groups...

...and tasked with making silly and creative paintings combining culture with food.

One group decides to paint an Indy race car made out of roti. Another group decides to paint a business suit necktie being grated into cheese. Another group paints Donkey Kong serving up a creepy bowl of banan...

At the old junkyard some rusted vehicles were talking

The convertible race car looked around at everyone and said "Lets get out of here and go for a ride down the highway one last time."

The bicycle said "I can't I am just two tired".

The Unicycle and Tricycle at the same time exclaimed "We aren't two tired!"

The Motorcycle replies...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 boys are lost in a forest and find a cabin

They knock on the cabin’s door and an old man answers. The kids ask the old man if they can stay there for the night and the old man says “Why of course you can. There’s one rule though. Do not open this closet” the old man points to a door. “If you do there will be consequences!”

The kids, ...

Don’t know if this is a repost but here we go.

Three men die and arrive at the pearly white gates of heaven. St. Paul says, “Depending on how loyal you were to your wife you will be awarded a vehicle.” The first man steps up and says, “I have been with my wife for 15 years and I cheated on her 4 times.” So doing what he said, St. Paul gives him ...

Why is someone who plays the piano called a pianist...

... but a person who drives race cars not called a racist?

The Three Brothers and the Genie

Three brothers are walking through the desert when they happen upon an old lamp buried in the sand. The eldest brother lifts the lamp from the ground and as he does the lamp starts to shake and out pops a Genie.

"You have freed me from my prison" the Genie announces with a booming voice " - a...

A snail goes into a car dealership...

A snail goes into a car dealership and asks for a race car, but says he will only buy it if they paint a big S on it. The sales men is curious about this odd request, but they don't get this offer every day so he agrees.
A week later the snail crawls into the dealership to buy the car. He crawls ...

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