I love February because it contains two of my favorite annual events

Groundhog Day, and the State of the Union Address.

One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with no basis in reality. The other involves a groundhog.

What's the difference between a procrastinator and a prognosticator?

Well, I haven't come up with the punchline yet, but you can probably see where I'm going with it.

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