Did you know that all the planets in the solar system are named after a god,

Except earth, which is named after all that stuff on the ground.

What kind of music do planets like?

Neptunes.

Why do Reddit astrologers not try to divine humor from the movement of planets?

Because the real joke is in the comets!

What do you call angry planets?

Negative Space

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There used to be 9 planets...

But Pluto was downgraded and now we have 8. And if you’re lucky enough, soon we will only have 7. Because I’m about to destroy Uranus.

(Best if used a pickup line)

What do you call an orgy between planets?

The Big Bang.

every time I hear this, I burst out laughing.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. sometime in the middle of the night, Holmes woke up Watson and said: "Watson lookup in the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied: " see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "...

Why do all planets want to date black holes?

Because they're so attractive!

What did the earth say to all the other planets?

Wow you guys have no life.

Did you Know that all the planets are named after Roman gods?

Except the Earth, the Earth is named after the stuff on the ground.

\-from a great source for stupid jokes the Norm McDonald Show.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. [long]

After a good dinner, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."


"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" exclaims Watson.


"And what do you ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A scientist walks into a doctor's office to inquire about his fever.

The doctor asks the scientist to lay down and drop his pants, which the scientist does without question.

The doctor asks about the scientists field of work to which he replies "astronomy my dear boy". The doctor was overjoyed at this response as space had always interested him.


T...

Kids Argue who’s dad is tallest!

Three kids showing off whos dad is tallest,

Kid 1 : my dad is as tall as empire state building.

Kid 2 : oh yeah? Well my dad is taller than the sky, even higher than the moon.

Kid 3: oh yeah? Does your dad reach and touch the planets up there?

Kid 2 : yeah of course
<...

All 8 planets are singing Happy Birthday to the Sun and it sounds terrible.

Everyone turns to Earth and Earth says, "don't look at me, I'm not flat"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know there will only be 7 planets tomorrow?

Because *I'm going* to *destroy* Uranus

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert.

After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says,
'Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?'
'The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of stars.'
'What that tell you?' asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a ...

It's the year 2070. Instead of putting funny one-liners in Christmas crackers, they put them in timecapsules embedded in space-rocks and send them to other planets.

The real joke is in the comets

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