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Pips Jokes

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A lemon, a potato, and a pea all had a tough week working at the grocery store...

...so they decided to let off some steam with a bar crawl at the weekend.

They had a great time, hitting bar after bar, knocking back drinks, but being so genetically different, the alcohol affected them each in different ways: the lemon got very acidic and refluxy; the potato, being a big st...

What do the pips and a vampire have in common?

They’re both Gladys Knight

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was propositioned by a man on the internet (NSFW)

He asked me if I'd push apple pips up his bum while he had sex with my mum.. what a seedy arsed mother fucker!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A fellow has a week off and decides to play a round of golf every day.... [Long]

First thing Monday morning, he sets off on his first round and soon catches up to the person in front. He sees that this is a woman and, as he catches up to her on a par 3, that, in fact, she's very attractive. He's interested and suggests that they play the rest of the round together. She agrees an...

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