Why is a pawns promise always good?

Because he can’t go back

I need to get a new chess set because all my pawns are damaged and sticky.

I should have never left them in the same box as the bishops.

African Grey Parrots are famously intelligent, but studies have shown that they consistently lose chess matches against ravens, jackdaws, and other corvids.

Said one researcher, "They just have trouble weighing the crows and pawns."

My chess strategy and comedy have something in common

I always concentrate on the pawns

My Dad turns 50 this weekend and I'm speaking, need some 50th birthday jokes/one liners/roast (xpost from /askreddit)

Some bullet points about my Dad:

* Has a BMW trophy car
* Loves golf
* Loves Steak
* Is a Republican (I'm very progressive/liberal)
* Balding (but so am I...)
* His shoulder and knee have needed surgery
* Worked everyday of his life since he was 15
* Raised 3 kids
*...

Chess is actually quite easy...

Knight takes Rook, King takes Queen, and Bishop molests the Pawns.

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