UPJOKE
chesscheckmatechessmanchess piecechess gamehockinstrumentsoakcat's-pawducalchessboardrookqueensidekingsidehelp

I need to get a new chess set because all my pawns are damaged and sticky.

I should have never left them in the same box as the bishops.

Why is a pawns promise always good?

Because he canโ€™t go back

African Grey Parrots are famously intelligent, but studies have shown that they consistently lose chess matches against ravens, jackdaws, and other corvids.

Said one researcher, "They just have trouble weighing the crows and pawns."

Chess is actually quite easy...

Knight takes Rook, King takes Queen, and Bishop molests the Pawns.

My Dad turns 50 this weekend and I'm speaking, need some 50th birthday jokes/one liners/roast (xpost from /askreddit)

Some bullet points about my Dad:

* Has a BMW trophy car
* Loves golf
* Loves Steak
* Is a Republican (I'm very progressive/liberal)
* Balding (but so am I...)
* His shoulder and knee have needed surgery
* Worked everyday of his life since he was 15
* Raised 3 kids
*...

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