Pawn Shop Jokes

Hawking a loogie

He looks around for a little while and sees a TV he really likes, so he goes up to the pawn shop owner and says "excuse me sir I'd like to buy that TV over there" the pawn shop owner says "I don't sell to stoners get out!"

The stoner leaves and a week later returns to the pawn shop and says t... read more

"We value your presents."

And the owner, an Irishman named Paddy Mac, greets him. The frog takes out a small figurine, places it on the counter, and asks how much he can get for it. Paddy responds that he can’t give the frog anything for the cheap little tchotchke. The frog says, “But this *is* valuable; it was given to me b... read more

He asks the shopkeeper, "How much for the statue?" Shopkeeper replies, "$20 for the statue, $20,000 for the story." He says various unkind words, pays $20 and takes his statue.

He walks down the street, but he starts hearing a murmuring noise behind him. Something small and subtle, he can't p... read more

He sees something above the counter and asks the owner what it is.
"Why, it's a thermos." The owner replies.
"What does it do?" The man asks.
"It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The owner replies.
"That's amazing, I'll take it!" The man says.

The next day h... read more

They gave me $4500 and never even took the gun!

A boy goes into a pawn shop with the motor for an iron lung.

the pawn shop owner asks "where did you get this?"

the boy replies "from my father"

the pawn shop owner asks "what did he say when you took it?"

the boy replies: "AAAAUUUUGHHHH"

because he wanted to appraise God.

He replied "No strings attached."

I just saw 2 meth heads carry a space heater out of a pawn shop.

A man is visiting a seaside town and walks into a pawn shop. He sees a large statue of a rat. “How much for the rat statue?” he asks. The pawnbroker responds, “It’s $10 for the statue, but $20 if you want the story that goes with it,” to which the customer replied, “I only want the statue.”

H... read more

A pawn shop.

...as we walked out of the pawn shop.

but the pawn shop was closed.

A middle aged woman has been conducting a long term affair with her lover for years. Her husband never knows because she tells him that she goes upstate one weekend a month to visit her elderly great aunt and take care of her. The husband wants nothing to do with such business and leaves her to it. ... read more