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What do you call it when you sell phlegm at a pawn shop?

Hawking a loogie

A stoner goes into a pawn shop

He looks around for a little while and sees a TV he really likes, so he goes up to the pawn shop owner and says "excuse me sir I'd like to buy that TV over there" the pawn shop owner says "I don't sell to stoners get out!"

The stoner leaves and a week later returns to the pawn shop and says t...

Sign in a pawn shop window

"We value your presents."

A frog walks in to a pawn shop

And the owner, an Irishman named Paddy Mac, greets him. The frog takes out a small figurine, places it on the counter, and asks how much he can get for it. Paddy responds that he can’t give the frog anything for the cheap little tchotchke. The frog says, “But this *is* valuable; it was given to me b...

A guy walks into a pawn shop, there's a brass statue of a cat.

He asks the shopkeeper, "How much for the statue?" Shopkeeper replies, "$20 for the statue, $20,000 for the story." He says various unkind words, pays $20 and takes his statue.

He walks down the street, but he starts hearing a murmuring noise behind him. Something small and subtle, he can't p...

A guy walks into a pawn shop.

He sees something above the counter and asks the owner what it is.
"Why, it's a thermos." The owner replies.
"What does it do?" The man asks.
"It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The owner replies.
"That's amazing, I'll take it!" The man says.

The next day h...

I went to the pawn shop yesterday to raise some funds to pay some bills.

They gave me $4500 and never even took the gun!

A boy goes into a pawn shop

A boy goes into a pawn shop with the motor for an iron lung.

the pawn shop owner asks "where did you get this?"

the boy replies "from my father"

the pawn shop owner asks "what did he say when you took it?"

the boy replies: "AAAAUUUUGHHHH"

Why did the priest go to the pawn shop?

because he wanted to appraise God.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

First Day at a Pawn Shop

Apologies beforehand, since this story doesnt have a punchline, it's just funny.


A friend of mine started working at a Pawn America. On his very first day he saw this young couple come in and they started looking and browsing through rings. They saw one that interested them and asked to s...

While buying a new guitar from the local pawn shop, I asked if there was anything I needed to know about this guitar or my purchase.

He replied "No strings attached."

Winter is Coming...

I just saw 2 meth heads carry a space heater out of a pawn shop.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mirror Mirror

A woman is thrift shopping for a full length mirror in various pawn shops. She comes across one she likes and asks the guy at the store about it.

'Well you have to be careful with this mirror' he says 'if you make a wish into a rhyme your wish will be granted'. She thinks it's bull and buys...

Lawyer Joke

A man is visiting a seaside town and walks into a pawn shop. He sees a large statue of a rat. “How much for the rat statue?” he asks. The pawnbroker responds, “It’s $10 for the statue, but $20 if you want the story that goes with it,” to which the customer replied, “I only want the statue.”

H...

Where's the worst place to buy a chess set?

A pawn shop.

My band just decided to change our name to "ACAPELLA"...

...as we walked out of the pawn shop.

My dog destroyed my chess set. I tried to replace the missing pieces...

but the pawn shop was closed.

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A man walks into a bar with a shoebox

He walks up to the bartender, sets the shoebox on the bar, and orders a beer and an empty shot glass. The bartender brings him his beer and watches as he then fills the shot glass with the beer and takes the lid off of the shoebox.

Out of the box he removes a small piano and a little bench, ...

The plan...

A middle aged woman has been conducting a long term affair with her lover for years. Her husband never knows because she tells him that she goes upstate one weekend a month to visit her elderly great aunt and take care of her. The husband wants nothing to do with such business and leaves her to it. ...

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careful what you wish for...

Guy runs a talent agency, sitting in his office, hears a knock on his door..."come in" he says...in walks a man with a perfectly formed little man about a foot tall..."yes, how may I help you??"...he says "I am looking for a job for my friend here"..."oh, and what does he do?"...he replies "he is a ...

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"12 Days Of Christmas - Bayou Style"

Day 1 Dear Boudreaux, Thanks for de bird in de Pear tree. I fix it
las' night with dirty rice. I doan tink de pear tree will grow
in the swamp, so I swap it for a Satsuma.


Day 2 Dear Boudreaux, You letter say you sent two turtle doves, but
all I got was two scrawny pigeon...

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A manic depressive horse named John

There once was a manic depressive horse named John. He was drinking away his problems in a bar that was popular among the local animals because they didn't card. You see, ever since he was a young colt, John used music to deal with his emotions. He started off with a vinyl record of The Beatles' *Re...

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Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife

Very Long Read:

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversa...

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