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Pardoned Jokes

What is a pirates favorite letter?

The one from the Governor telling him he's been pardoned.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

OJ shouldn't have been pardoned.

Remember, he's the bastard that made the Kardashians famous.

I heard Donald Trump pardoned two turkeys this year...

Eric and Don Jr

From a conversation at the the Thanksgiving table about the turkeys Trump pardoned

Why did John Lennon hate carrots?

Because he wanted to give peas a chance.

If Trump goes to prison

he'll be very lonely because he pardoned all his friends
-
Jimmy Falon's writer

A priest, a lawyer, and an engineer, were each sentenced to death by guillotine.

The priest went first, and he says "Please. Allow me to lie facing up, so that I might face towards God as I am about to join him."

The guards allow it, and place his head through the slot.

The guard pulls the lever and the blade comes down but stops just inches short of the priest's h...

Why does Hillary keep bumping into people at the White House?

So she can be pardoned.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three programmers were condemned to death by....

Three tech gurus were sentenced to be executed. They were to be executed by a century old guillotine. The first guy, a microsoft engineer is secured at the bottom of the frame. The blade is released but slows down gradually and stops a few inches before the nape of his neck.

Considering it as...

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