I was sending out letters the other day, when all of a sudden I got a paper cut...
...Bloody envelopes!
I got a paper cut writing my suicide note
I guess it's a start
I've got quite thick skin
I could probably count the number of paper cuts I've ever had on one hand
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A guy walks into a diner and orders a cup of coffee...
When the waitress sets the cup down in front of him, he notices that she's holding the cup in such a way that her thumb is literally *in* the liquid. Disgusted, but not wanting to cause a scene, he politely asks for a different cup and doesn't point out her faux pas. The waitress looks at him curiou...
A nun arrives at heaven's gates and is met by St Peter
St Peter says: "Sister Mary, you have led a dutiful pious life, dedicated to God, and to helping the needy. As a special reward, we will return you to Earth to live once more. Who would you like to return as in your second life?"
"Sarah Pippilini!", says Sister Mary.
"Fine", says ...
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