How’d you circumcise a hill-billy?

Kick his sister in the jaw!

I was circumcised yesterday.

The doctor did such a good job I left him a tip.

Can older adults be circumcised?

Or is there a cut off date ?

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In college, I was refused membership in all the fraternities because I was circumcised.

Apparently you need to be a complete dick.

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Why are jews circumcised?

Because its not kosher to mix cheese with meat.

What happened to the blind circumciser?

He got the sack

I used to work at the zoo, where my job was to circumcise Elephants.

The pay was rubbish, but the tips were huge!

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My Cousin was born with no eyelids. Later when he was circumcised, they used the foreskin to create eyelids for him.

Everything turned out fine......he's just a lil Cock eyed.

How many people does it take to circumcise a whale?

Four skin divers.

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Circumcised

A man walks into a urologist office and says
"I want to be castrated"!
Dr Says "you can't be serious"!
Man says "I insist on being castrated." and drop 10 grand on the table

Next month this guy is talking to his friend who says
"I hear getting circumcised makes sex better.."
...

Why can't you circumcise Donald Trump?

Because there's no end to that prick.

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I had to go to the hospital to help my wife deliver a baby

While I was there my wife suddenly started freaking out about what if the baby came out with a birth defect. Everything was going through her head from it having six toes to having three heads. Eventually it got bad enough that a doctor had to come in and calm her down. Her first question was what w...

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Why do Jews get circumcised?

Because Jewish women refuse to touch anything that isn’t at least 10% off.

"Would you circumcise my son?"

Rabbi: "How old is he?"


"Five."


Rabbi: "Are you kidding? That's way past the usual cut off date."

Donald Trump was due to get circumcised

But the doctor said the procedure couldn’t go ahead due the fact that “there is literally no end to this prick”

My grandfather used to circumcise elephants for a living.

The wages were poor, but the tips were enormous.

Why are most American men circumcised?

Because its rude to have the hospital deliver you and not leave a tip

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My cousin Mordecai circumcises elephants

He says the pay is crap but the tips are big

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Why did the circumcised foreskin have trouble making friends?

He was a bit of a dick.

Did I ever tell you what I used to do before I worked here? I used to circumcise elephants...

Them: Really?

Me: Yeah, the pay wasn't very good, but the tips were big!

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How do you circumcise Moby Dick?

Send down 4 skin drivers

I’m getting circumcised tomorrow

any tips?

Doctors who don't circumcise are often seen as inadequate

They just don't cut it

I knew a guy that circumcised whales.

It didn’t pay much but the tips were huge.


credit u/mole4000

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Mr. Johnson walks into a clinic and says to the doctor, "I have thought about this for years, and I have decided that I want to get castrated."

"Are you sure about this?" asks the doctor. "It will really change your sex life."

"Sex life shmex life!" shouts Mr. Johnson. "I want to be castrated!" The doctor sighs and sets an appointment.

A few weeks later, Mr. Johnson wakes up in a hospital ward after his surgery. He turns to th...

My folks told this story of how they went through several doctors to get me circumcised.

I guess none of them made the cut.

How do you circumcise a whale?

4 skin divers.
Told to me by my neighbor many years ago, ha ha.

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