How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

You kick his sister in the mouth

Donald Trump was due to get circumcised

But the doctor said the procedure couldn’t go ahead due the fact that “there is literally no end to this prick”

I knew a guy that circumcised whales.

It didn’t pay much but the tips were huge.


credit u/mole4000

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In college, all the fraternities rejected me because I was circumcised.

Apparently you need to be a complete dick.

My friend used to circumcise elephants as a job

He quit, but the tips were huge

Circumcision is a painful procedure to inflict on a newborn.

After I was circumcised I couldn't walk for a year.

Mick: I’ve got a medical problem so I have to get circumcised...

Paddy: Wow! At 35 years old?! I was a new born baby when I was circumcised.

Mick: Did it hurt?

Paddy: Well I couldn’t walk for about 12 months

How do you circumcise a whale?

Four skin divers

"Would you circumcise my son?"

Rabbi: "How old is he?"


"Five."


Rabbi: "Are you kidding? That's way past the usual cut off date."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] One time after swimming class with 3th grade the boys in the locker room noticed that I wasn't circumcised.

I first noticed it when I heard some whispering while getting changed. Eventually in class they where still talking about it the whole time. During recess a group of kids came to me to ask if they can see it. First I was a little shy, but after some pear pressure I gave in.
So we went to the toil...

How did you get circumcised? My parents went for the cheap option.

It was a ripoff.

Did I ever tell you what I used to do before I worked here? I used to circumcise elephants...

Them: Really?

Me: Yeah, the pay wasn't very good, but the tips were big!

How do you circumcise the Pope?

Kick the choir boys chin

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My cousin Mordecai circumcises elephants

He says the pay is crap but the tips are big

The longest circumcision in history

I had this mate and he used to go on about it his job all the time, you know the type? Work, work, work! Well this was particularly annoying in his case, as he was a professional circumciser.

I said to him one day do you enjoy your work? And off he went...

He said yes it’s a fantasti...

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How do you circumcise Moby Dick?

Send down 4 skin drivers

A man goes to get circumcised

After his surgery, he asks the doctor "So how much do I owe you?"

The doctor says "Oh that doesn't cost you anything. I do this sort of stuff for free."

The man asks "Then how do you make a living?"

The doctor replies "I just collect the tips."

Did you hear about the blind circumciser?

he got the sack....

As a summer job I would work for the circus, my job was to circumcise the elephants...

The pay wasn’t that good, but the tips were HUGE

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A jewish woman goes to the hospital to give birth to her son.

Unfortunately the baby boy is born without eyelids.

The jewish woman is hysterical and says: Doctor, doctor what am i going to do? My baby boy has no eyelids!

The doctor calmly replies: Missus Levine, don't worry your son is going to be circumcised so we can do a transplant and give h...

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Did you hear about the kid who was born without eyelids? Amazingly, they were able to make a set of eyelids out of his foreskin when he was circumcised! He looks totally normal now...

Except he's just a little cockeyed

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A couple is in the hospital after the wife just had a baby.

The doctor comes up to them with a concerned expression. "Your son is perfectly healthy, but I'm afraid he doesn't have eyelids. What we can do is graft a pair with the skin left after we circumcise him"

The dad asks "But won't be end up cock-eyed?".

The doctor says" Oh, no. If anythi...

Doctors who don't circumcise are often seen as inadequate

They just don't cut it

My grandfather used to circumcise elephants for a living.

The wages were poor, but the tips were enormous.

Why do Jewish men circumcise?

Because Jewish women can't resist anything with 10% off.

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Why do Jews get Circumcised?

Because Jewish women refuse to touch anything that isn't at least 10% off

Why do men get circumcised?

Because no one avoids something that's 20% off.

How do you circumcise a whale?

4 skin divers.
Told to me by my neighbor many years ago, ha ha.

Typical Texan baby boy

A man from Texas buys a round of drinks for everyone in the bar as he announces that his wife has just produced a typical Texan baby boy weighing twenty pounds. Congratulations shower all around, and many exclamations of “wow!” are heard.

Two weeks later he returns to the bar. The bartender s...

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