UPJOKE
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How do you circumcise a redneck?

You kick his sister in the jaw.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I was in law school, I was rejected by all fraternities because I was circumcised.

Apparently you need to be a complete dick.

How do you circumcise a whale?

Send in four skin divers

Can someone get circumcised at any age

Or is there a cutoff date?

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A little known rule: You cannot be circumcised if you are running for political office in the US.

You need to be a complete dick.

What happened to the blind circumciser?

He got the sack.

I used to work at the zoo, where my job was to circumcise Elephants.

The pay was rubbish, but the tips were huge!

Fred goes to a doctor.

He says, "Doc, I want to be castrated. "

Doc says, "Look, I don't know what kind of cult you're into or what your motives are, but I'm not going to do that sort of operation. "

Fred: "Doc, I just want to be castrated, and I'm a littlee mbarrassed about talking about it, but I have $5...

Why can't you circumcise Donald Trump?

Because there's no end to that prick.

Can older adults be circumcised?

Or is there a cut off date ?

I was circumcised yesterday.

The doctor did such a good job I left him a tip.

Several churches were having problems with squirrels damaging their buildings.

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will.

At the Baptist church, the deacons met an...

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My Cousin was born with no eyelids. Later when he was circumcised, they used the foreskin to create eyelids for him.

Everything turned out fine......he's just a lil Cock eyed.

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Why are jews circumcised?

Because its not kosher to mix cheese with meat.

My grandfather used to circumcise elephants for a living.

The wages were poor, but the tips were enormous.

Why did Luke circumcise his kids?

Because they were his force kin.

"Would you circumcise my son?"

Rabbi: "How old is he?"


"Five."


Rabbi: "Are you kidding? That's way past the usual cut off date."

Donald Trump was due to get circumcised

But the doctor said the procedure couldn’t go ahead due the fact that “there is literally no end to this prick”

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Why do Jews get circumcised?

Because Jewish women refuse to touch anything that isn’t at least 10% off.

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Circumcised

A man walks into a urologist office and says
"I want to be castrated"!
Dr Says "you can't be serious"!
Man says "I insist on being castrated." and drop 10 grand on the table

Next month this guy is talking to his friend who says
"I hear getting circumcised makes sex better.."
...

Did I ever tell you what I used to do before I worked here? I used to circumcise elephants...

Them: Really?

Me: Yeah, the pay wasn't very good, but the tips were big!

Doctors who don't circumcise are often seen as inadequate

They just don't cut it

Why are most American men circumcised?

Because its rude to have the hospital deliver you and not leave a tip

How do you circumcise a whale?

4 skin divers.
Told to me by my neighbor many years ago, ha ha.

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