How do you circumcise a redneck?

Kick his sister in the jaw!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are jews circumcised?

Because its not kosher to mix cheese with meat.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In college, I was refused membership in all the fraternities because I was circumcised.

Apparently you need to be a complete dick.

Did you hear about the blind circumciser?

He got the sack...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Cousin was born with no eyelids. Later when he was circumcised, they used the foreskin to create eyelids for him.

Everything turned out fine......he's just a lil Cock eyed.

My uncle used to circumcise elephants. The pay was terrible, but...

The tips were massive.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Circumcised

A man walks into a urologist office and says
"I want to be castrated"!
Dr Says "you can't be serious"!
Man says "I insist on being castrated." and drop 10 grand on the table

Next month this guy is talking to his friend who says
"I hear getting circumcised makes sex better.."
...

Why can't you circumcise Donald Trump?

Because there's no end to that prick.

How many people does it take to circumcise a whale?

Four skin divers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Jews get circumcised?

Because Jewish women refuse to touch anything that isn’t at least 10% off.

Why are most American men circumcised?

Because its rude to have the hospital deliver you and not leave a tip

Donald Trump was due to get circumcised

But the doctor said the procedure couldn’t go ahead due the fact that “there is literally no end to this prick”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the circumcised foreskin have trouble making friends?

He was a bit of a dick.

"Would you circumcise my son?"

Rabbi: "How old is he?"


"Five."


Rabbi: "Are you kidding? That's way past the usual cut off date."

My grandfather used to circumcise elephants for a living.

The wages were poor, but the tips were enormous.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My cousin Mordecai circumcises elephants

He says the pay is crap but the tips are big

I’m getting circumcised tomorrow

any tips?

Did I ever tell you what I used to do before I worked here? I used to circumcise elephants...

Them: Really?

Me: Yeah, the pay wasn't very good, but the tips were big!

My folks told this story of how they went through several doctors to get me circumcised.

I guess none of them made the cut.

I knew a guy that circumcised whales.

It didn’t pay much but the tips were huge.


credit u/mole4000

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you circumcise Moby Dick?

Send down 4 skin drivers

Doctors who don't circumcise are often seen as inadequate

They just don't cut it

What did I say to my doctor after getting circumcised?

Keep the tip.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman just gave birth to a baby boy. Unfortunately....

The doctor was holding him and told the parent,"I regret to inform you that your son was born without eyelids." The mother replies," That's terrible. What are we going to do?" The doctor says," I've seen this before, don't worry. We will circumcise him and use the foreskin to make him new eyelids." ...

A poor Jewish tailor has a son...

So he goes to see the mohel and tells him, "My son must be circumcised, but I have no money to pay you."
After thinking for a moment, the mohel gets a huge jar from his shelf and gives it to the tailor. "For all my years as a mohel, I haven't known what to do with all the foreskins, so I put the...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.