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Circumcise Jokes

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

Kick his sister in the jaw!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wasn’t allowed in a fraternity in college because I was circumcised.

Apparently you need to be a complete dick.

I circumcise elephants for the circus, the pay is lousy.....

But the tips are enormous.

How do you circumcise a whale?

You use four skin divers.

Can someone get circumcised at any age

Or is there a cutoff date?

Three men arrive simultaneously at the Pearly Gates.

They are greeted by St. Peter, who tells them, "Welcome! Before you can enter heaven, you must be circumcised, and I can see that none of you are. The standard procedure these days is that we remove your foreskin using whatever method your father used to make a living."
To the first guy, he says...

I used to work at the zoo, where my job was to circumcise Elephants.

The pay was rubbish, but the tips were huge!

Have you heard about the cross-eyed circumciser?

He got the sack.

Why can't you circumcise Donald Trump?

Because there's no end to that prick.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little known rule: You cannot be circumcised if you are running for political office in the US.

You need to be a complete dick.

My grandfather used to circumcise elephants for a living.

The wages were poor, but the tips were enormous.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Jews get circumcised?

Because Jewish women won't touch anything that's not at least 10% off.

Why did Luke circumcise his kids?

Because they were his force kin.

"Would you circumcise my son?"

Rabbi: "How old is he?"


"Five."


Rabbi: "Are you kidding? That's way past the usual cut off date."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Cousin was born with no eyelids. Later when he was circumcised, they used the foreskin to create eyelids for him.

Everything turned out fine......he's just a lil Cock eyed.

Can older adults be circumcised?

Or is there a cut off date ?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are jews circumcised?

Because its not kosher to mix cheese with meat.

Donald Trump was due to get circumcised

But the doctor said the procedure couldn’t go ahead due the fact that “there is literally no end to this prick”

I was circumcised yesterday.

The doctor did such a good job I left him a tip.

Did I ever tell you what I used to do before I worked here? I used to circumcise elephants...

Them: Really?

Me: Yeah, the pay wasn't very good, but the tips were big!

Doctors who don't circumcise are often seen as inadequate

They just don't cut it

How do you circumcise an Eskimo?

Frostbite

How do you circumcise a whale?

4 skin divers.
Told to me by my neighbor many years ago, ha ha.

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