Obsidian Jokes

I had a friend who was really into Cindarella and exclusively dates blonde women. Another loved snow white and is married to a woman with obsidian black hair. I was really into The Little Mermaid and that's why I am not allowed into the Fish Market anymore.

I'm reading Thomas King's book "Obsidian" and there's a line it that asks "Why do lawyers look like psychopaths? Because they don't want to look like politicians."

Cause I'm as hard as obsidian

so i was walking in the park and my son said “what are those white things in the sky dad?” so i said that those are clouds. next he asked “what is the earths defense system?” and then i remembered i don’t have a son and he looked at me with obsidian black eyes and said “w̶̱̮̓̈̏h̷̺̮̙̊͘̕ȧ̶̹͓̪͑̃t̴̳̪͚̀... read more

He knocks on the door and the monks open it. He tells the monks about his situation, and how he can't call for a mechanic at those hours of the night, so he asks them if he can stay the night in the monastery. The monks happily agree, and give him a room with a bed to sleep on.

In the middle ... read more

Retrieving the heads of these skallywags will net him $1 per ear, and Captain Flint was ready to lay down his life for it. With $1000 he could buy an entire fleet with 50 men per ship. He'd be the most feared Pirate in the Atlantic!

After 2 days of fighting by sea and shore, Captain Flint an... read more

Three men are out walking in the woods one day, when they stumble upon an old bronze lamp. Naturally, having spent much of their lives reading internet jokes, their first inclination is to rub the lamp and excitedly greet the genie that emerges.

"You have freed me from my near-eternal captivi... read more