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Flint Jokes

What do you get when you put jelly into Flint, Michigan's water supply?

Pb & J.

Keith Flint failed his English at School. It was a really tough break because his final essay was excellent

He just ran out of space

Little Timmy lived in Flint

But little Timmy is no more

For what he thought was H2O

Was PbSO4

In Flint, Michigan, students have no difficulty learning A — G and P — Z.

The problem’s H to O.

What does the W in Flint, Michigan stand for?

Water

Why Won't Michigan Governor Rick Snyder Take Any Flint Tap Water With Him Overseas In Order To Stick To His Promise That He'd Drink It For A Full Month...?

Because he can't get it through the airport metal detectors.

Captain Flint and his crew of cutlass wielding marauders, set sail for Clew Bay, ready to take down the Filthy Five Hundred and collect upon their bounty.

Retrieving the heads of these skallywags will net him $1 per ear, and Captain Flint was ready to lay down his life for it. With $1000 he could buy an entire fleet with 50 men per ship. He'd be the most feared Pirate in the Atlantic!

After 2 days of fighting by sea and shore, Captain Flint an...

Today I set my location on Tinder to Flint, Michigan

Because I bet those girls are pretty thirsty.

Back in school, I took an apple tart to Detroit, Flint, and St Louis

My teacher had asked me to take pi to three dismal places

I think my boss from flint is trying to poison me...

Handing out all these Pb and jelly sandwiches.

I've been asked to lead the singing at Keith Flint's funeral

I'm a choir starter

Why did it took so long to investigate Flint water crisis?

They never appointed a lead detective

Why do the best swimmers come from Flint, Michigan?

Because they're always in the lead.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a peanut butter jelly sandwich in Flint MI?

Pb and j

If your name is Fred and you live in Flint Michigan and you're about to smoke a bowl....

...does that mean you're freddy to get flint-stoned

A VPN, John Cena and Flint, Michigan walk into a bar...

Goverment: I can't see you

What does JFK’s brain and the Flint water pipes have in common?

They both have lead passing through

I tried talking about Flint, Michigan

But it was a hard pill to swallow.

What do Kurt Cobain and Flint, Michigan have in common?

They both overdosed on lead.

People who live in Flint should drink gasoline.

It's cheaper than the water and guaranteed unleaded

Have you heard about the Flint, Michigan football team?

Their lead is unstoppable!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does the flint water crises and Chicago PD have in common?

The amount of lead put into black people.

(It was funnier over the radio)

What's the best part about living in Flint, Michigan?

Leaded gasoline is pretty cheep!

Very offensive man on the loose with flint and steel

Sparks outrage

9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda...

That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan...

Bob, a Neanderthal furniture craftsman, lugs his latest stone creation into Harry’s store.

Harry is the proud owner of Pleistocene Man Home, a thriving home goods and flint cave.

Bob, still breathing heavily from his labor, says to Harry, “Here new chair. Soft slate. No crack. Has club holder.

Harry is impressed. “Good chair! Better than chair you make for Doug”

“W...

You know how in restaurants they often ask you if you prefer bottled water or tap water?

In Flint, the waiter asks you, "Regular or Unleaded?"

Two scientists walk into a bar. One asks for H2O, and the other asks for H2O too.

They both die because the bar was in Flint, Michigan

Ten years into the war, both sides ran out of bullets for their guns.

They decided to use bows and arrows instead.

But ten years later, still strong in the war, both sides ran out of arrows and flint. So both sides used swords and axes.

But a decade after that, both sides ran out of metal, and they had to resort to weapons made of wood, like bo- staffs ...

Which Hollywood cowboy could always start a campfire?

Flint Eastwood

Back in the day...

...cars were made in Flint and you couldn't drink the water in Mexico...

Have you heard about Michigan's music scene??

I hear there's a lot of heavy metal in Flint. :^)

We all know that alchemy isn't real.

You can't get gold from lead. You just get lead from Flint.

How can the Democrats light a fire under Millennial voters?

They can use Flint and Tinder

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A museum curator was explaining an old gun

'To fire the gun you insert the Flint in the flintlock ; put the ball into the barrel with charge of powder from a powder horn and wad of cotton. The charge is then rammed down the barrel and tapped a few times with ramrod. Then the ramrod is replaced in the holder, the gun is cocked and then it is ...

A new version of clue is coming out this year

It's called Flint River Clue. The only weapon is a lead pipe.

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