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Once upon a time, I picked up some walnuts and a nutcracker at Walmart

But enough about where I met my wife

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am over 18

Well, I guess we are going to see "The Nutcracker" on Saturday!

My mother-in-law, not the play.......

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What do you call a lobster with a nutcracker?

A castration crustacean.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am over 18

I bought my wife a nutcracker for Christmas

I figure after all these years breaking my balls manually she deserves it

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What do to call it when a ballerina kicks someone in the balls?

A nutcracker!

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What’s a squirrels favorite tool

A nutcracker

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Which ballet is the most uncomfortable for guys to have to sit through?

The Nutcracker.

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What do you call a white person in an insane asylum?

A Nutcracker

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What is the most painful Russian dance?

Tchaikovsky's *The Nutcracker*.

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