Nudist Jokes

The first few days were the hardest.

When all of a sudden a woman passes by who remarks, "If you were even the tiniest bit of a gentleman, you would lift and tip your hat to a lady."
He replies, "If you were even the teensiest bit of a woman, the hat would lift by itself."

Q- How can you tell the blind guy at a nudist colony?
A- It's not hard.

Q- Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A- The one carrying a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

Q- Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
A- The one who can eat the la... read more

The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts

It's not hard.

Nothing looked good on her.

Police are looking into it.

Food was good but I didn't like the dressing.

One turns to the other and asks “Have you read Marx?” The second replies “yes, it’s these damn wicker chairs!”

Apparently, he kept sticking his nose in everyones' business.

The taxi stops and the driver scans her from head to toe, with big bold eyes.


At this the nudist erupts: Haven't you seen a naked girl before?



Driver : It's not about that, I'm just wondering where have you kept the money to pay me..

What do you call a group of nudists around a fire?

.

A Weenie Roast

The philosopher asks the nudist, "have you read marx? And the nudist replies, "why, yes! But I think it's the wicker chairs."

Edit:
completely possible my Dad heard it somewhere else, or perhaps it came to him originally like the many other examples posted. Gotta trust yo pops tho.

I haven't worn it yet.

It was called In the Buffet

I was born ready.

I had nothing to wear

He hated it

Is directly influenced by the tempture.
Warm days, 6'3"
Cold days less

it gasped and said said “how do you breathe through those?”

and I saw a man walking by wearing nothing but his glasses.

And I thought, "What does he do when his glasses get dirty?".

You can always tell who the best man is at a glance.

He clearly has nothing to hide.

And the bartender says, “Thorry, we’re clothed.”

He’s the one with sesame seeds on his buns.

The sign on their gate says:
"Clothed Until Further Notice."

I’m doing it for the exposure

I might go if I have nothing on.

"When I tell you that I love you," he asked, "why do you always lower your eyes?"

"To see if it's true," she answered shyly.

Joey moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of him in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it. The next day he discovers that he had accidentally ... read more

he said the first day was the hardest.

Frosted tips

...he said he just wanted a place where he could hang out.

Even the salad was undressed

And tells the bartender "one beer please"
The bartender just looks at her from head to toes. "What? Haven't you ever seen a naked woman?" --
"Oh yeah many times"--
"Well, why do you keep staring at me then?"--
"I'm just wondering where you keep your money to pay for the beer"

But at the end of the day, I concluded that NOTHING looked good on her.

Sorry - Clothed for winter.