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Castaway Jokes

A ship is sailing past a remote island and spots a man who’s been stranded there for many years

The captain goes ashore to rescue him and notices three huts.

“What’s the first hut for?” he asks.

“That’s my house,” said the castaway.

“What’s the second hut for?9

“That’s my church.”

“And the third hut?”

“Oh,” the castaway sniffs. “That’s the church I use...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day a man, who had been stranded on a desert island for over ten years sees an unusual speck on the horizon."It's certainly not a ship", he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer Suddenly, emerging from the surf, comes a drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.

She approaches the stunned guy and says: "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years," replies the stunned man.
With that she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of cigarettes.
He takes one, lights it, takes a long...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Castaway

A young man was on a cruise ship to Hawaii. He somehow fell overboard unnoticed, but luckily managed to get himself onto a small uninhabited island.
Luckily for him, he was a avid watcher of all those “survival” shows and managed to situate himself comfortably. After scouring the islan...

Did you know that in the original script of "Castaway" the Tom Hanks character was a big time gambler, and actually lost a lot of money to his volleyball friend?

That's why personlly I think the role would've been better played by Owen Wilson.

Most people don't realize that the actor from the volleyball scene in Top Gun: Maverick...

...is the same actor who played Wilson in the 2000 movie "Castaway".

A German, a Russian, and a Syrian are in a life raft ...

The raft is slowly sinking and the 3 castaways are afraid it will sink before they are rescued, so they start looking around for things they can dispose of to lighten the load.

The Russian takes a case of fine Vodka, throws it overboard and says, "We have plenty of that in my country."
...

A marooned Baptist is rescued by a ship.

A Baptist has been stranded on a deserted island for two years. Upon being rescued, a sailor asks: "You survived. Remarkable. How did you do it?"

The Protestant says, "By the grace of God. Come, let me show you where I lived." So the sailors and the castaway retreat into the jungle. ...

Stranded

One day an Irishman who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship." And, as the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out the possibilities of a small boat or even a raft..
Suddenly there emerged...

A ship discovers a lost island in the South Pacific

To their surprise, the ship's company find the remains of a shipwreck there, a couple of decades old, and a single survivor, a Welsh mariner who has busied himself building an exact replica of a Welsh village, complete with a town hall, a pub, a rugby pitch, and two chapels.

"...Two chapels?"...

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Two men were cast away at sea

They landed on a island and were captured by the native people. They were taken to the tribal chief and he told them "you have two choices watuk watuk or death". The first cast away chose watuk watuk and a native with the biggest 13 inch cock came in and fucked the castaway. The second cast away sa...

A guy is stranded on a deserted island with a famous supermodel.

Within a week the two lonely castaways are making love. Then, one day, the guy turns to the supermodel and says,

“I was hoping you could do me a favor.”

“Sure,” she replies.

“First, put on my clothes,” he says.

“Fine,” she says while getting dressed.

“Great. N...

A husband comes home drunk..

His wife shouts: "So, you're drunk again, you castaway!"
The man responds: " Aww, shut your mouth, im punished enough to see you double!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men crash land on a desert island, 3 days later they find a magic lamp in the sand on the beach

>**this joke works best if you do the actions when you're telling it**

The men get very excited about the lamp and as they dust the sand away it hums and buzzes before a genie emerges in a puff of blue smoke.

"You have freed me from my prison," says the Genie, "For this, I will give...

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