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Koran Jokes

The Jehovah's Witness don't seem to get the hint with my Koran, so...

Islam the door in their face

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I call my Marijuana the Koran

Because burning either one will get you stoned

^EDIT: ^I ^don't ^want ^this ^to ^be ^offensive...

^EDIT ^2: ^guys, ^I ^know ^that ^the ^rules ^say ^that ^anyone ^butthurt ^can ^go ^screw ^themselves, ^but ^I ^do ^still ^feel ^bad. ^I ^am ^not, ^however, ^going ^to ^delete ^this.

I've just burned the Koran...

...to CD if anyone wants a copy.

Muslim Band

I went to see a Muslim Tribute band last night at a Mosque.

They were called "Bomb Jovi" and I thought they were brilliant.

They performed songs like:
"Losing my Head over You",
"Rocket Launcher Man",
"You're Six, you're Beautiful, and you're Mine".

Their la...

Why do people call their weed the Koran?

Because if your burn it, it gets you stoned

My friend has the Koran on DVD…

I asked him if he could burn me a copy.

Religious CD (NSFW)

My muslim friend told me had purchased a a copy of the Koran on CD, so I asked him to burn me one.



Then hell broke loose....

Mustapha is walking with his wife.

Hassan his friend notices that his wife is walking in front of him and asks: "You know the koran says that the man should walk infront of the wife"? Mustapha:" I am aware what the koran says but this is a minefield".

Abdul the Afghani

Abdul the Afghani is walking through the mountains with his wife in front of him. He meets his imam going in the opposite direction.

"Abdul, have you read the Koran? It says the wife should always walk behind her husband," the imam says.

"When the Koran was written, there were no mine...

I don't need an expensive security system in my car...

...just some wires sticking out of a backpack, and a copy of the Koran next to it on the drivers seat. That will ensure it never gets touched.

A Mullah, a Priest, and a Rabbi go camping ...

A Mullah, a Priest, and a Rabbi go camping. While they're setting up their tents, they see a grizzly bear prowling in the distance.
The Mullah says, "I'm going to convert him to Islam." and walks off towards the bear. After 15 minutes, he comes back and says "I read to him from the Koran. Nothing...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I walked into a bookstore

I walked into a bookstore, just trying to kill some time. I walked about a third of the way into the store before I really started to look around. I realized that all of the books were about Islam and copies of the Koran. It was a Muslim bookstore. I started to head back to the door when a clerk st...

An Irishman, an American, a Mexican and an Arab board a plane with two suitcases each

Halfway through the flight, the pilot announces that the plane is rapidly losing altitude and that they must throw a suitcase each to lose weight.

The Irishman opens his suitcases: one has bombs and old IRA memorabilia inside, the other is filled with cans of Guinness for the trip. "There's t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am truly perplexed that so many people are against mosques being built.

I think it should be the goal of every Western Society to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs. Thus mosques should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance.

That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque, thereby promoting tolerance from w...

My uncle was always an idealist

I remember back when we was still a stoic Professor of Logic

But he soon became involved with the Civil Rights Movement. It was then, he became acquainted with many Communist sympathizers as they were called.

So one day eventually, he decided to go teach in the Faculty of Science at th...

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