Ninja Turtle Jokes - 24 Hilarious Ninja Turtle Jokes

Why do the ninja turtles make terrible office mates?

They always destroy the shredder.

My 4 year old son just got me with a dad joke I hadn't heard before.

My son was playing with his teenage mutant ninja turtle action figures, and was making them fight each other.

Me: "Where are their weapons? Are they just fighting with their bare hands?"

Son: "No, they are fighting with their turtle hands."

Doesn't have a clue why I was laughin...

Shredder finally defeated the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

All he had to do is to throw a box of plastic straws to the sewer system.

Mr. T set the ninja turtles up on a blind date.

Mr. T: Here's your girl.

Ninja Turtles: who is she?

Mr T: Its April, fools.

Also, I'm sorry.

What do you call a ninja turtle with an addiction to pastries?

Donutello

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I love how the ninja turtles wear masks

Great way to hide your identity, it's not like you're a giant fucking turtle or something

Why was the little boy too scared to reach into his Happy Meal for the Ninja Turtles toy?

Last time he did it, he got a Splinter.

I spent the whole day trying to carve the Ninja Turtles out of wood

But just ended up with a load of Splinters.

Why did Quentin Tarantino regret directing a Ninja Turtles movie?

Because he felt the villains being called "The Foot Clan" was very misleading.

Why were the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arrested for terrorism?

They’d been radicalised.

What’s the Ninja Turtles favorite brand of saki?

Oroku, because it shreds.

A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle walks into a bar.

The bartender says, “you’re underage. Get the hell out of here.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don't know why people keep asking if one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is gay.

They have a strict "Don't Ask Donatello" policy

What's a Ninja Turtle's favorite equation?

A radical equation.

The Ninja Turtles went to a weapons store. They all got what they wanted except for Raphael

They didn't have his sai's.

Why do the Ninja Turtles attack Shredder 4 on 1?

Because their master is a rat.

I've just been robbed by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle

Though ironically, he wasn't wearing a mask so I don't know which one he was.

Why are the Ninja Turtles on the No-Fly list?

Because they are members of an underground Splinter cell.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We were watching the Megan Fox Ninja Turtle movie with my son.

And my wife says, "There seems to be a lot of girls hanging from things in this."
I replied, "It's the classic damsel in distress storytelling." Then I whispered, "Plus girls never let go of shit."
We both laughed and she gave me permission to share it.

Some bloke just told me I have no culture

Just because I can name more ninja turtles than renaissance artists.

What do you tell the teenage mutant ninja turtle Raphael when he picks up a miniature version of his weapons?

Those are the wrong Sais.

Chuck Norris once flushed a condom

Three weeks later the ninja turtles were born

A hunchback kid came home from school crying

Mom: why you cry son

Kid: kids at school telling me "fu***ng hunchback"

Mom: let's enroll you at karate school so you can beat them up

*kid enrolls at karate school*

- A MONTH LATER -

*kid still came home from school crying*

<...

A guy goes to a fancy dress party with his girlfriend on his back....

When asked what he has come as he tells everyone, "I'm a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle of course"
"What's that on your back then???"
"Oh, that's Michele he replies"

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