Ninja Turtle Jokes - 24 Hilarious Ninja Turtle Jokes

Why do the ninja turtles make terrible office mates?

They always destroy the shredder.

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My 4 year old son just got me with a dad joke I hadn't heard before.

My son was playing with his teenage mutant ninja turtle action figures, and was making them fight each other.

Me: "Where are their weapons? Are they just fighting with their bare hands?"

Son: "No, they are fighting with their turtle hands."

Doesn't have a clue why I was laughin...

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Shredder finally defeated the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

All he had to do is to throw a box of plastic straws to the sewer system.

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Mr. T set the ninja turtles up on a blind date.

Mr. T: Here's your girl.

Ninja Turtles: who is she?

Mr T: Its April, fools.

Also, I'm sorry.

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What do you call a ninja turtle with an addiction to pastries?

Donutello

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I love how the ninja turtles wear masks

Great way to hide your identity, it's not like you're a giant fucking turtle or something

Why was the little boy too scared to reach into his Happy Meal for the Ninja Turtles toy?

Last time he did it, he got a Splinter.

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I spent the whole day trying to carve the Ninja Turtles out of wood

But just ended up with a load of Splinters.

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Why did Quentin Tarantino regret directing a Ninja Turtles movie?

Because he felt the villains being called "The Foot Clan" was very misleading.

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Why were the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arrested for terrorism?

They’d been radicalised.

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What’s the Ninja Turtles favorite brand of saki?

Oroku, because it shreds.

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A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle walks into a bar.

The bartender says, “you’re underage. Get the hell out of here.”

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don't know why people keep asking if one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is gay.

They have a strict "Don't Ask Donatello" policy

What's a Ninja Turtle's favorite equation?

A radical equation.

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The Ninja Turtles went to a weapons store. They all got what they wanted except for Raphael

They didn't have his sai's.

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Why do the Ninja Turtles attack Shredder 4 on 1?

Because their master is a rat.

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I've just been robbed by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle

Though ironically, he wasn't wearing a mask so I don't know which one he was.

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Why are the Ninja Turtles on the No-Fly list?

Because they are members of an underground Splinter cell.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We were watching the Megan Fox Ninja Turtle movie with my son.

And my wife says, "There seems to be a lot of girls hanging from things in this."
I replied, "It's the classic damsel in distress storytelling." Then I whispered, "Plus girls never let go of shit."
We both laughed and she gave me permission to share it.

Some bloke just told me I have no culture

Just because I can name more ninja turtles than renaissance artists.

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What do you tell the teenage mutant ninja turtle Raphael when he picks up a miniature version of his weapons?

Those are the wrong Sais.

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Chuck Norris once flushed a condom

Three weeks later the ninja turtles were born

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A hunchback kid came home from school crying

Mom: why you cry son

Kid: kids at school telling me "fu***ng hunchback"

Mom: let's enroll you at karate school so you can beat them up

*kid enrolls at karate school*

- A MONTH LATER -

*kid still came home from school crying*

<...

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A guy goes to a fancy dress party with his girlfriend on his back....

When asked what he has come as he tells everyone, "I'm a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle of course"
"What's that on your back then???"
"Oh, that's Michele he replies"

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