A hobo is lying on the beach covered in newspaper...

...and suddenly a young girl appears and asks him what's under the newspaper. He responds in a gravely voice, "Eh, it's just a bird." She then asks him if she can play with his bird. He laughs and says, "Sure, why not." A few minutes later he falls asleep.

Hours later, he wakes up, but this t...

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Bob, an accountant





was driving home over the Golden Gate Bridge after spending a great day on the ocean fishing.


His catch, cleaned and filleted, was wrapped in newspaper on the passenger-side floor.


He was late getting home and was speeding... Wouldn't you know that a...

A dog attacks a little girl

A man is walking in Central park in New York sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog.
He runs over and starts fighting with the dog.
He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life.
A journalist arriving soon takes pictures and says: \- "You are a hero, tomorrow ...

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A hooker decides to marry...

After working for years, a hooker finally retired and, being afraid of spending the rest of her life alone, she decided to marry. She had been with so many perverted men over the years that she felt she needed a change and would only get one by marrying a virgin male near her age.

She took ...

A wife tells her husband her underwear cost $300...

The husband screams "Three hundred dollars!? That's outrageous!" The wife says "Well you don't wrap a beautiful jewel in newspaper".

The husband replies "Yeah, but you don't gift wrap a dead beaver, either".

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John Wayne

It was a slow day for Mike. He was hunched over the counter doing the crossword in newspaper to pass time as he waited for customers to visit his shop.

The door opened and the bell rang, in walks his good friend Johnny.

"Hey there Johnny! How ya doin'? What can I get you, buddy?"
...

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