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Muggers Jokes

A man was walking on the road when he was accosted by two muggers who attacked him.

The man fought bravely but the muggers beat him senseless and proceeded to go through his pockets.

"There's only $2.75 in here!" said one of the muggers, looking through the man's wallet.

"You mean to say that you fought us like this for $2.75!?" the other mugger asked the man incred...

Why can't muggers catch Catholics during Lent?

They fast.

I got jumped the other night, the muggers made off with my wallet, cuff links, and mood ring...

I'm still not sure how I feel about that.

A middle aged guy and his teenage daughter were riding a motor bike.

While taking a shortcut through a dark part of the park when they were stopped by a gang of muggers.

They searched them and took the guy’s wallet, his watch and even the Motorbike, but couldn’t find any jewellery from the girl.

When the muggers had gone, the father asked his daughter, ...

Sloth gets mugged

A sloth gets mugged by three turtles. At the police station the cop asks him if he got a good look at the muggers. The sloth replies "I don't know, it all happened so fast".

A tortoise was crossing the road, when two snails mugged him.

The police arrived and asked what the muggers looked like.

Shaken, the tortoise said "I don't know. It all happened so fast!"

An Internet Explorer user was recently mugged by a snail, a turtle, and a sloth.

When reporters asked him if he could describe the muggers, he responded, "Not very well. It all happened so fast."

A Construction joke,

This Guy lives in a bad neighborhood and every night, when he walks home, he grabs a couple of cobblestones in each hand, for protection from thieves and muggers....

After some time, there is a pile of cobblestones outside his home...

His Contractor neighbor notices and asks, "What's ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Jews are walking in Odessa at night...

Suddenly, in a dark alley, they are surrounded by muggers with knives.

-- Money, watches, wallets - quick!

One Jew turns to the other:
-- Abram, remember, I owe you $300? Here they are, returned to you in front of witnesses.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] A business man was robbed in Las Vegas on his way to the airport

After he had checked out of the hotel late at night, 2 muggers have robbed his purse, mo and notebook, leaving him behind with his luggage.

He had hours left to get to the airport, and he was lucky that his ticket was at the side compartment of his luggage. He walked up to the street to the ...

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