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Marketplace Jokes

Ad in Russian Marketplace...

For limited time, buy one potato, get second potato same price.

alternate punchline: >!For limited time, buy one potato, now go away, we out of potato.!<

Don't go on Tinder

Go to Facebook marketplace....and search for wedding dresses.

It will show you recently divorced females.

From there you can filter by size.

Facebook marketplace is the best place to get an immediate response to what your selling.

Is it still available?

Two Arab women are in the marketplace...

...when they happen across a big box full of potatoes. One of the women holds up two of them and says, "You know, these potatoes remind me of my husband Achmed's balls."

"Why?" asked the other. "Because they're so big?"

"No," said the first. "So dirty."

An English tourist in a Cairo marketplace was offered a large skull by a street trader

"This is the skull of Great Queen Cleopatra for only One hundred English pound." said the trader.

The tourist says, "No thank you, it's far too expensive."

Then the trader produces a small skull and says, "How about this one?"

The tourist asks, "Whose skull is that?"

The ...

Hodja, a Turkish farmer, is coming home from the marketplace, and as he's entering his home he sees two men he owes money to coming down the road to his house.

Stepping inside, he instructs his wife to tell the two creditors that he isn't home.

The two men arrive and knock on his door, the wife answers and tells them Hodja isn't home. The two men are annoyed, and one says "don't give us that nonsense, we just saw him walk in this door two minutes ag...

What do you get with legalized prostitution and a highly competitive marketplace?

The best bang for your buck.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So my friend was telling me that the strangest thing happened at an Arab marketplace he went to today...

I said "Really? No ?"

And he was like "Yeah. It was really quite bazaar."

Death is the only certainty in life

"There was a merchant in Bagdad who sent his servant to market to buy provisions and in a little while the servant came back, white and trembling, and said, Master, just now when I was in the marketplace I was jostled by a woman in the crowd and when I turned I saw it was Death that jostled me. She ...

One day, Julius Caesar was in the marketplace with a friend, looking for a celebratory item after coming back from a successful campaign. He was looking towards a bust of his face, carved in marble.

But that was when his friend said: "Hey! Don't get a head of yourself!"

A woodworker made some coffee tables to sell

A woodworker made some coffee tables to sell on marketplace, but none of them sold.

It turns out they weren't poplar.

I'm sure I am not the first redditor to think this up, but I did use search function for the last year and found nothing, so apologies if it's a repost or just not funn...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Excuse me sir, would you happen to have the time?"

Some American tourists were cruising the marketplace in Cairo, Egypt, looking for some souvenirs to bring home with them, and one of them came across a man knelt down by a camel and he asked.


"Excuse me sir, would you happen to have the time?"


The Egyptian looked at him, reache...

Mike Tyson in Egypt

So mike Tyson is vacation in Egypt. He is having a great time but slowly begins to run out of things to do. A few days go by and he even grows tired of gawking at the pyramids. He’s searching for something to do! He heads to his local marketplace. There he finds a book on ancient Egyptian hieroglyph...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Priest's

A priest in a middle-sized town in the old country was strolling through the marketplace when he saw an especially fine-looking donkey. He decided to buy it for use on the monastery's farm. But he soon found out to his amazement that the donkey could run faster than most horses!

So the priest...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man born and raised in the province decided to move to the city to find a decent job.

He woke up early that morning to catch the bus to the city and peacefully slept through the five-hour ride.

By the time he woke up the bus was already approaching his stop so he gathered his things and prepared to leave. He had only taken a few steps away from the bus however when he felt a s...

Two men are stranded in a desert, dying of dehydration.

Finding no salvation anywhere, they kept walking, and eventually saw something on the horizon.

Initially, they thought it to be a mirage, a hallucination brought on by their dehydration. But as they got closer, it became apparent that it was not a mirage, but instead a marketplace. They deci...
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