I am getting so sick of millennials and their attitude.

Always walkin around like they rent the place.

How many millennials does it take to change a light bulb?

Don't know, the baby boomer that has the job now can't retire because they never saved anything and millennials all have LED lights that last longer.

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I was arguing with a millennial coprophiliac and I told him to eat shit and die

He said “Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

I always wondered why my millennial friend always writes in lower case letters...

...apparently he is anti-capitalism.

Why can't millennials take a joke?

Because the jokes always hit a little too close to their parent's house.

I saw a millennial chick at the supermarket and thought she looked odd.

Then I realised she can't even.

I went to my backyard and saw a bird of prey eating avocado toast.

It was a millennial falcon.

According to FBI, the number of serial killers is decreasing every year.

Thanks to those damn lazy millennials who can't commit to a single thing.

How many millennials does it take to change a light bulb?

That's racist.

why do millennials always type in lowercase?

because they reject capitalism.

[OC] You millennials are always complaining that we ran up trillions of dollars of debt for you. Why can't you just pull yourselves up by your bootstraps?

After all, we pulled ourselves up by your bootstraps.

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Fucking millennials ruins the church

Priests need to stop doing that

Trump shutting down the border would be the best thing for millennials

Once the avocado market dries up they can finally pay off their student loans and buy a house

What kind of job do millennials typically prefer?

A rimjob.

What did the millennial hunter say when he couldn’t see the deer anymore?

“I just lost the game.”


...And now so have you.

Can someone help me figure out if I’m a millennial?

I can’t Google it because my parents won’t pay the Internet bill.

What is a millennial’s favourite fragrance?

Scents of entitlement.

What did the millennial say when his friend played jaws on the piano?

That low key gave me chills

There should be a millennial edition of Monopoly

[Removed]

What did the millennial Charlie say after visiting the chocolate factory?

It was choco-lit

A millennial walks into an executives office

The millennial says "Sir i would like a job."
The executive replies "Really.... How about $100k a year, corner office and a company car."
The millennial says "WOW YOU MUST BE JOKING!"

The executive says "yes, but you started it."

As a millennial snowflake, if I can't win,

I at least expect a ribbon for precipitation.

If I had a dollar for every time older people complained about millennials...

...I could fix the economy they broke.

I asked a millennial hipster yoga teacher to leave the room...

He said: "Nah a ma stay."

Study finds that the most popular fetish among Millennial is...

Role playing as a couple that owns a house.

If a millennial asks you...

If a millennial asks you why people in old photos have red eyes

.

.


Tell them that they're too young to remember the demon uprising of the 1980s

Why doesn't Santa have any millennial elves?

Because there are already enough snowflakes at the North Pole.

I’m sick and tired of these millennial weathermen...

In my day, only the raining champion got an award, but nowadays everyone wants a precipitation trophy.

Amazeballs is millennial for "cool",

But it's also Native American for "hush puppies".

If a Millennial dies, they can be eulogized as such:

"They died doing what they loved. Dying."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is millennials' idea of dirty talk?

"Fuck me like you owe me."

There are 3 types of rings common to the millennial marriage.

The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and tindering.

Did you hear about the millennial on Wheel of Fortune?

He tried to rent a vowel.

What's the difference between a millennial and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four.

2 Millennials get into a counting contest

The announcer says "okay Millennials, start counting from 1 to 2000!"

They both scoff and easily count that high within minutes. One says "I'm a Millennial, I could count to 2000 in my sleep!

The announcer, obviously worried that there will not be a winner, thinks up a plan.

He ...

85% of Millennials struggle with figuring out the opposite of these words.

Always
Coming
Take
Me
Down

A dad complains "Millennials get certificates for anything..."

"My son got one last week just for dying!"

It's ironic that Baby Boomers call Millennials narcissists

When their parents referred to themselves as **The Greatest Generation**.

what do you call Johnny Cash's millennial grandson

Johnny Bitcoin

A boomer, a millennial, and a Gen Z kid walk into a bar

They sit down at a table and order a bottle of whiskey. The boomer pours a tall glass for himself and says, "There ain't no social security left, so I'm pouring myself a big glass of whiskey!" Then, the millennial grabs the bottle an pours a medium sized glass and says, "I've got $100,000 in student...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If I had a dollar for every time someone told millennials to stop being dramatic and entitled...

I still wouldn’t be able to afford a fucking house

how many millennials does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Enough to protest until the government does it for them

My grandpa told me, "You millennials are too dependent on technology...

.. so I plugged out his life support

People say Millennials are entitled...

but have you ever tried to tell an old lady her coupon has expired?

I was born in 1988, so you might think I'm a millennial

But please don't assume my generation. I actually identify as a baby boomer.

Someone told me that I have 'Millennial humor'

It's comments like those that make me want to shoot myself and then go into debt.

You millennials and your obsession with public healthcare....

Back in my day we just died

People keep laughing at Millennials over this whole eating Tide Pods thing, but it started with Bill O'Reilly

“Tide goes in, Tide goes out. Never a miscommunication. You can’t explain that. You can’t explain why the Tide goes in.”

In the future, a millennial and his wife are lying in bed

The wife turns to the husband and says, "remember life before self-driving cars?"

The husband replies, "Yes, those days were quite the struggle. So glad we evolved past driving cars."

The wife says, "remember life before smartphones?"

The husband replies, "I sure do. What ...

What is the difference between a millennial and a gun?

A gun only has one trigger.

Why do millennials love Animal Crossing?

Because it allows them to fulfil the dream of buying a house.

Millennials wont get this

vaccines

Give a millennial a smartphone and he'll live for a day...

... any longer than that and he'll become a mindless, soulless, social media zombie.

Apparently incredulousness is increasing amongst millennials

I don’t believe it for a second

What device did God use to communicate with millennials?

A tablet.

But not from Apple.

Next time someone complains about millennials

Remind them which generation linoleumed over all those beautiful hard-wood floors.

Millennials don't get this...

Low college tuition rates.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many millennials does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. Shit's already mad lit, fam.

Dogs, Not Marriage or Kids, Motivate Millennials to Buy Homes

I don't know how they afford it though.

Dogs are expensive.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A millennial shows up at an employment agency.

He goes: "Hi, I'm looking for a job, and despite the stereotype, I'm willing to do anything and start from the bottom.

The agent goes "well, there's a farm that needs help with loading some grain sacks."

"Ah, well, that sounds very tiring, and it probably involves being in the sun or t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Study finds millennials are having less sex

Because they are expecting their parents to do it for them.

What do women in the Middle East and Millennials have in common?

If they go to college, they'll probably get stoned.

How many millennials does it take to change a light-bulb?

One, but he has to create a safe-space where the light-bulb can go to avoid being offended that it's being replaced.

millennial superstitions

If your phone drops in the toilet bowl, you will have seven years of frustrating eyebrows.

During the election, Bernie teamed with Hillary to try and win over the millennials

Funny, considering they're age combined is a millennial itself

Life: Why do people love me and hate you?

Death: *scoffs* Have you met the millennials?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are the top porn searches always for "Teen" and "MILF" age groups?

Because millennials are sick of watching each other get fucked.

What's the best way to smuggle avacado toast across the galaxy?

On the millennial falcon.

Say what you will, but today's young professionals are the ones that will eventually find the cure for cancer. I can see the headlines now:

"Millennials Killed Cancer"

What do you call a 30 year old in a falcon suit?

The millennial falcon

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