UPJOKE
centipedearthropodexoskeletonpolyxenidaspirobolidapolydesmidaspirostreptidainsectdragonflyplatydesmidapentazoniaantjulidapill millipedepolyzoniida

How do you do the hokey pokey if you’re a millipede?

You put your right foot in, You put your right foot in, You put your right foot in, You put your right foot in, You put your right foot in, You put your right foot in, You put your right foot in, You put your right foot in, You put your right foot in…

What's more disgusting than a millipede?

A millipooed

What do you get when you put 10 millipedes together?

A centipede :D

The Ant, and Spider,were hanging at the millipede's house...

They ran out of Booze. So being a good host, the Millipede volunteered to get more at the store.

Waited for 2 hours and the millipede was nowhere to be found.

They opened the front door and saw the Millipede was still putting on his shoes ..

This chap lives alone and he was feeling a bit lonely, so he goes to the pet shop to get something to keep him company...

The pet shop owner suggested an unusual pet, a talking millipede.

"OK," thought the man, "I'll give it a go..."

So he bought a millipede, took it home, and for lack of advance preparations, made it a temporary home in a cardboard box.

That evening testing his new pet, he lea...

In the jungle, there's a Football (Soccer) match between the Elephants and the Insects...

By half-time the elephants are completely dominating the insects with a score of 36 - 0.
At the start of the 2nd half the Millipede came on for the insects and he was the best player in the whole of the jungle!
When the final whistle blew it was 37 - 36 to the insects!!


Afte...

A woman goes into the local pet shop

and asks the owner for a pet that can
do everything. The owner thinks
about it and says,"How about a dog?"

The woman replies,"No, I had a
dog before. He was great but all he
did was eat, sleep, and play fetch.
want a pet that can do everything!"

The owner thinks s...

A centipede walked into a shop and asked for a pair of shoes.

The shopkeeper looked at him and checked it was just the one pair that the centipede wanted.

The centipede laughed and assured the shopkeeper that yes, although one pair would be useless for himself, the shoes were a birthday gift for someone else and that he did indeed only want one pair....

What lies on it’s back one million feet in the air?

A millipede

Useful Metric Equivalents

* 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone
* 1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
* 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds
* 52 = 1 decacards
* 1/2 lavatory = 1 demijohn
* 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
* 435.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
* 10 rations = 1 decoration
* 10 m...

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