A man threw a milk bottle at me today

How dairy

I asked my wife why there was an empty milk bottle in the fridge?

"In case someone wants a black coffee."

A man is showing an alien around earth

"Let's go to a pub", says the man.

They go in. The Alien walks up to the bartender and orders a pint. The bartender sets the pint down and the alien hands him 3 milk bottle tops.

"uh sorry we don't accept th-"

The man interrupts the bartender and explains the situation.

...

Ye old merry jokes

There are 3 milk bottles outside of a castle. 2 are full, 1 is half full. What's the name of the king?

Phillip the 3rd.

Courtesy of an 8 year old: A man goes to the supermarket

A man goes to the supermarket and puts a miniature milk bottle into his cart. Next he grabs a miniature loaf of bread and one miniature apple. At check out the cute cashier takes his miniature groceries and scans them one by one. Between the *beeps* she takes a good look at him and finally asks.
...

If I ever go missing..

You should put my picture on beer rather than milk bottles. This way, my friends will find me faster.

My girlfriend said I treat her like a child.

Guess who isn't getting her milk bottle tonight!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Gerrard and the nudist beach

Gerrard, a young Parisian stud, books himself a couple of weeks at a coastal nudist colony to work on the tan (and the ladies) but on his first day he realises his member looks like a milk bottle compared to the rest of his tanned, toned body - he doesn't believe in sunbeds and you can't exactly bat...

A mother to her programmer son...

"Son, go to the shop and buy one milk bottle, also, if there are eggs, buy 12" Says the mother. So the son goes to the shop and returns with twelve bottles of milk. The surprised mother asks:
"Why in the world did you bring 12 bottles!?"
"Because there were Eggs"

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