UPJOKE
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I recently became very angry as a result of misplacing my memory foam mattress.

I had lost my Tempur.

So, I ate a memory foam mattress again

I had forgotten how much better they taste than traditional mattresses.

Not saying my Ex was fat

But it took a year for my memory foam mattress to forget her.

I just got a repressed memory foam mattress.

It holds me just like my uncle used to.

My wife is coming back from holiday tomorrow...

Does anyone know how to delete the memory, from my memory foam mattress?

Great pickup line...

You:Hey, do you have a Memory foam mattress?

Her: Yes.

You: Wanna Traumatize it?

Me: How long have we had that mattress?

Wife: No idea

Memory foam mattress: Two years, five months and two days

Every time I lie down on my new bed, all the embarrassing moments from high school keep flooding back to me.

I shouldn’t have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.

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