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I recently became very angry as a result of misplacing my memory foam mattress.

I had lost my Tempur.

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So, I ate a memory foam mattress again

I had forgotten how much better they taste than traditional mattresses.

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Not saying my Ex was fat

But it took a year for my memory foam mattress to forget her.

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I just got a repressed memory foam mattress.

It holds me just like my uncle used to.

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My wife is coming back from holiday tomorrow...

Does anyone know how to delete the memory, from my memory foam mattress?

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Great pickup line...

You:Hey, do you have a Memory foam mattress?

Her: Yes.

You: Wanna Traumatize it?

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Me: How long have we had that mattress?

Wife: No idea

Memory foam mattress: Two years, five months and two days

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Every time I lie down on my new bed, all the embarrassing moments from high school keep flooding back to me.

I shouldn’t have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.

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