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Medium Rare Jokes

My pronouns are Rare/Medium Rare.

And if you don't use these, my feelings and mental health is at steak...

why are most reddit posts medium rare?

because they certainly aren't rare, and are definitely not well done.

My rapper name would be Medium Rare

Cus it’s kinda raw

"Two steaks please", I asked the writer. "Rare for me, medium rare for my friend."

He brought us a lovely bit of panda and a nice chunk of giraffe.

How rare is it for a cow to be struck by lightning?

Medium rare.

I cooked my friend a perfect medium rare steak.

He said that he liked it well done. I said thanks.

A cannibal brings a fortune teller home to his wife.

He says, "Remember not to overcook this one. I like a medium rare."

Just as quarantine ends, you win your choice of an all-expenses-paid vacation anywhere in the world for you and your spouse, or a steak dinner with your friends. Which do you choose...

(a) medium rare,
(b) medium, or
(c) well done?

A man and a woman sat down at a table to eat

I go up to them, ask what they would like to drink, and inform them of the specials tonight, the specials being a T-bone steak, or tilapia.

I take their orders and get them their drinks. A few minutes later, the chef signals that the orders are done.

Sitting on the delivery tray are 3...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A trucker is driving down a random stretch of highway

He happens upon a billboard while driving that reads...

Peaches, engineered for your taste!
Only 10 miles!

Mildly intrigued, the driver decides to check out what this means. "Engineered for my tastes, what bullshit!", he says.

Driving for the next couple miles, he final...

If steak could rap, why would its prefix only be Big or Lil'?

Because medium rare

How rare is it for someone to die by falling into a campfire?

Probably about medium rare.

Putin and Medvedev go to a high class restaurant.

Putin says to the waiter "For the meat I want a rib-eye steak, medium rare. The potatos are to be baked with sour cream".

The waiter asks "what about the vegetable?"

Putin looks at Medvedev and back to the waiter and says, "He'll have the same"

A man walks into his favorite restaurant…

He sits down and orders a medium rare ribeye steak. As he’s eating, he looks up and sees a woman giving him a dirty look. The man assumes the woman is a vegetarian since she is only eating a large bowl of salad and greens.
The man tries to ignore her but after a few uncomfortable minutes he puts...

My girlfriend asked me how my exes were like

I told her medium rare

Waitress: So how did your food come out?

Me: It came out well.

Waitress: Perfect, enjoy your meal!

Me: I ordered medium rare.

My local newspaper ran a story on the decrease of cow psychics.

It was called "Steak Medium Rare"

I wanted to order food from a fancy restaurant

I didn't want to leave the house, though, so I had them bring the food to me.

I ordered a medium rare steak and foie gras, but when the food arrived my foie gras was missing!

Furious, I drove over to the restaurant and demanded they give me my full order. They did, and before I left I ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and a woman go out to dinner...

This is during the time the Mad Cow disease ravished Britain. A man and a woman are sitting at a table when the waiter approaches them, asking "what would you like for dinner?"

The man replies, I'll have a fat juicy steak, medium rare with all the trimmings. Gravy and roast potatoes please. T...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

And then the fight started . . .

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'
  
And then the fight started...

----------

My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do yo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and a woman go out to eat...

Scene in: Interior of a Restaurant.

MAN and WOMAN sit at the table in the center of the stage, holding menus. WAITER stands in the background, readying a tray.

WOMAN: It’s weight watching week. I’m supposed to be taking it easy on the calories tonight.

MAN: We came to eat out, h...

And Then Fight Started.. :D

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What’s on TV?"I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started…My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."I bou...

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