UPJOKE
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What is the most mediocre state?

OK

Mules are mediocre.

They only do a Half-Assed job.

How do you describe stitching that is mediocre?

Sew sew.

Bonus: how do you describe a field that has been mediocrely planted?

Sow sow.

How does a male donkey laugh at a mediocre joke

He haws

Where do mediocre Jokes get made?

At the Satisfactory

What do you call a mediocre social program?

So-So security

Albert Einstein once said: "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.”

He was probably talking about the 18th Amendment.

I just finished watching a mediocre documentary on mathematical functions.

The plot was predictable and the special f(x) was terrible.

I want to buy a t-shirt that says “Mediocre”

That way everyone knows I’m an OK guy.

Back in the day Oklahoma use to have a slogan “Oklahoma is OK!”, you know why it was just OK?

Because they couldn’t spell mediocre.

A failed rapper, a failed rock star, and a mediocre country singer walk into a bar

He tells the bartender "anything but Budweiser."

I am unhappy with my made up, mediocre cheesy joke about my bad grammar.

I want to make a gouda one.

What do you call someone with mediocre detonation skills?

An OK Boomer

What do you call a mediocre member of organized crime?

A mafiososo.

Why are restaurants on the moon always so mediocre?

There's never any atmosphere.

What does Elton John say to mediocre jokes?

It’s a little bit funny...

My statistic skills are mediocre at best

And average at worst

What’s the slogan for the mediocre McDonald’s that werewolves eat at?

I’m lycan it

I just had some mediocre chinese food ...

it was Tso Tso

A man goes to visit his elderly father at a senior home and they sit down to have a mediocre meal.

A nurse stands behind the old man and after a bit he begins to lean way over to his right. The nurse jumps over there and pushes him back, straight up in his seat. He then begins to lean way over to his left and the nurse again jumps over and straightens the old man out. This happens a few more time...

Why don't mediocre salesmen get laid?

Because they sell a bit.

A frustrated boss is talking with a mediocre employee. He asks, "Are you dumb or just apathetic?"

The employee responds "I don't know, and I don't care."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was poking fun at my wife, and I apologized after, saying I was sorry for being a professional asshole.

She just shrugged and said "Nah, mediocre at best."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Loosing my virginity was a lot like my first soccer game...

very mediocre, but at least my mom *came*.

*edit: \*Losing*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two best friends got married on the same date and...

meet every year after their anniversaries at their favorite bar. One was fortunate to be really successful and the other lives a sort of mediocre life. They start discussing what they got their wife's for their anniversaries. The rich guy begins by discussing his gift.

" Yea, I got my wife a...

I would tell you a joke about Ikea furniture...

But the setup takes to long and the final product is mediocre.

A customer walks up to a barista at Starbucks

They are not a huge coffee drinker so they ask the barista “what’s your mildest roast?” The barista thinks about it for a moment and says “you have mediocre ears.”

Small fishing town

There is a small town by the side of a lake where fishing is allowed and quite popular. There is a shop that sells fishing supplies. Differently skilled people use different quality baits. For example: a novice would use novice bait, a mediocre fisher would use mediocre bait, a good fisher would use...

Two guys walk into a bar...

The third guy ducks.


(I know this joke is mediocre at best, but I found it on a post-it note stuck a trash can on my college campus a few days ago and felt obligated to share it.)

future*

I recently discovered I have a mediocre superpower, and I didn't know where else to share it. I can see into the futuer, but only to correct my own typos.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joke to tell during sex

During sex I told my girlfriend to tell me a knock knock joke, here’s how it went:

*3 minutes into some mediocre sex*

Me: hey, tell me a knock knock joke

Her: uhhh, okay. knock knock

Me: IM COMING!

I slept with a girl who works for Amazon Prime Video last night.

It was pretty mediocre and she constantly tried to make me pay for it.

What do you call an overweight average ogre eating beef flavored yogurt?

A mediocre meaty ogre eating meaty yogurt.

My art is like communism.

Fantastic in theory, mediocre in practice, messy in result.

A professor died and went to hell...

...and found that he had to grade papers by mediocre and weak students for all eternity.

After that whole ring fiasco, Gandalf was in the Shire talking with Merry and Pippen...

"So, you went through the dark forest and met my friends the tree hearders. The Ents. Tell me about your journey."

Merry began. "They were all so big and mean and full of energy. All they did was rant and insult us!"

"Most of them, yes!" added Pippen. "Then we met old Gnarly Bark. He w...

A priest & a driver arrives at heaven's gate, guarded by St. Peter.

Upon arrival at heaven's gate, St. Peters asks which one of the two is the driver, and the driver replied "Me!".

"Alright, come on in to heaven."

The priest asks "How about me?"

"Well, the reason why I'm not letting you in is that, when you're preaching all your followers are a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, is preparing to jump off a bridge...

As he's about to step into the void, a hand grabs him from behind.


He turns back annoyed and sees that the hand belongs to an old bearded overweight guy.


"Why did you stop me you old fool?"


"Have you gone mad my son? You were about to kill yourself!" The old ma...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The lobby pianist at the Waldorf Astoria gets fired...

...so the manager hold auditions for a new pianist. After hearing some mediocre players, a man walks into the room, sits down at the piano, and proceeds to play the most amazing music the manager has ever heard. When the pianist finishes, the manager begins clapping emphatically. "Bravo!" he says...

Band Jokes!

I'm a band geek and love terrible band jokes. Here are some of my favorites!

How do you get two piccolos to play in tune? Shoot one.

What is the best use for a clarinet? Kindling.

What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawn mower? You can tune a lawn mower.

What...

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