Measure Up Jokes - 7 Hilarious Measure Up Jokes

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time.

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pro...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got fired from my job because the competition was stiff, and I just didn't measure up.

is a hard job.

King Charles is the new ruler of England

He hopes he can measure up

I bought a cheap yardstick that can only be used flat on a table...

It really doesn't measure up.

When are protractors the same as calculators?

When they start counting but no matter the angle, protractors don't measure up.

Did you hear about the ruler factory that went out of business?

They just couldn’t measure up to the competition.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wife complains she doesn't enjoy with husband because his is too small

aghast and offended the husband runs and gets a standard 12 inch ruler to measure up.
"Ha!" he cries "I knew it was big but I didn't know it was that big! 9 inches! look!"
the wife looks and says:
"you're holding the ruler upside down."

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