Martian Jokes - 26 Hilarious Martian Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Martian Babies

A Martian couple and an Earthling couple have met and are talking about all sorts of things.

Finally, they get around to the subject of where babies come from.
"Just how do you guys do it?" ask the Earthlings.

“We’ll show you”, the Martians say.

Each Martian holds out two fin...

The Martians have landed on Earth, and in meeting the world leaders, they have an audience with the Pope.

The Pope looks at them and asks, "Do you know Jesus?"

The Martian replies, "Oh, Jesus? Great guy! He comes and visits our planet twice every year!"

The Pope is astonished! It's been close to 2000 years since he was here and we're still waiting on his second coming."

The Martian ...

Where do Martians get their coffee from?

Starbucks.
I'm sorry.

Martians arrive on earth

They're peaceful and happy and everyone loves them. Obviously humanity has tons of questions they'd like to ask them so the U.N. decides to arrange a conference. All the world leaders, public intellectuals and religious heads are in attendance to ask their most burning questions. Finally it is the p...

I just watched "the Martian" - What an unrealistic movie...

...Sean Bean survives.

Did you know martians are communists?

They all live on the red planet.

This pandemic has exposed how unrealistic the movie The Martian is.

Not because of the space travel to Mars, but there is no way the US government would spend so much money and gather the resources to save just one life.

Where do Martians drink beer?

At a Mars Bar.

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a martian?

An eggs-traterrestrial!

What does Marvin the Martian put on his toast?

Space Jam

What did the Martian call the human who was ran over by a bus?

A flat earther

Why the Martians haven't contacted us?

They missed the opportunity

Why was the little Martian sad?

Curiosity killed his cat.

OK so, The martians come to Earth...

It turns out they're GREAT guys. We all get along so well and spend the time learning about each other's planets. What's the weather like there, what are sports like here, recipes, ect. Eventually, it comes to where they ask how we go about reproducing and we are of course curious in the Martian way...

What do you call a fight between a Martian and a nerd with no social life?

Alien versus Redditor.

When the Martians made a movie about Earth, they came back for more Earthlings.

Apparently, they needed some extra terrestrials.

They’ve written a sequel to The Martian where a hundred rescuers attempt to rescue a stranded man on mars, only to fail.

It’s title.

101 Dull Martians

In the year 2045 Elon is tired of importing ice-cream from Earth to the Martian colonies.

The next day he puts a group of dairy cows on a rocket to Mars.

But inter-planetary customs officers make him hold the rocket in orbit while they inspect the cows. Earth leaders don't want to lose the tax revenue from exporting ice-cream and are looking for a reason to reposes his cattle. ...

Saying "I'm sorry" and "I apologize" means basically the same thing...

...except at a funeral.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People from earth are called Earthlings.

People from Mars are called Martians.

People from Uranus are called Assholes.

Two American astronauts are launched to Mars.

Two American astronauts are launched to Mars. When they reach the Martian surface they see a beautiful red-skinned, red-haired woman. Using their language-translation machine, they tell her they are from Earth. They see she is stirring a big pot, and every now and then she pulls a newborn baby from ...

If Philae finds an inhabitant on the comet what would be its first words?

I'm a Comedian ^((because people from Mars are Martians)^) ^^And. ^^I'll ^^show ^^myself ^^out

NASA's Perseverance rover on Mars has successfully tested a device that can convert carbon dioxide (98% of Mar's atmosphere) into oxygen and carbon monoxide.

Sounds like a great idea, until all the Martians start dying from carbon monoxide poisoning.

The dancing aliens (LONG)

On the first contact mission to Mars two astronauts where sent up to make contact with the other worldly beings. After 300 long days in the space ship the astronauts finally landed on Mars what they saw deeply surprised them they saw 2 beautiful humanoid figures welcoming them with open arms. The as...

What do you call an alien civil rights activist?

Martian Luther King jr.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The tale of Louise.

Once upon a time there was a 7-year-old girl named Louise. Now from a young age Louise had always had an interest in science. Someday she wanted to be an astronaut, to pilot a spaceship, and to explore alien worlds, but she didn't have time for any of those things. You see, Louise's family owned thi...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.