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Maritime Jokes

I think EA should make a game about the maritime shipping industry

EA Ports

I'm thinking of moving to the Alpes-Maritimes area of France.

I hear it's Nice.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Maritime History Professor: So, what do you think is the most important sea in Europe?

Student: Undoubtedly the one in Amsterdam Canal Experience.

Maritime Imperial Unit Puns

You can’t even fathom how many there are

I recently subscribed to Asian Maritime History Monthly...

but haven't received a single issue. Then I remembered I had "No junk mail" on my door.


This is the worst, super specific pun I've come up with so far.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What was FDR's most famous maritime obscenity law?

The Nude Eel.

TIL that, in 1917, England mistook an Italian maritime transport for a German one, so they attacked it.

Whoops, wrong sub.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why can’t you get a blowjob in Quebec or Ontario?

Because all of the cocksuckers are down here in the Maritimes.

Why is it a good thing to study oceanic trade routes?

Because you’ll have a maritime (merry time)!

Putin gets interviewed about the sinking of the Moskva

Vladimir Putin:] It’s a great pleasure, thank you.

[Interviewer:] This ship that was involved in the incident off Crimea this week…

[Vladimir Putin:] Yeah, the one the magazine detonated?

[Interviewer:] Yeah

[Vladimir Putin:] That’s not very typical, I’d like to make that...

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