UPJOKE
marinecoastalnauticalseaoceanicoceanatlanticgulfaviationshipoffshorenavalfisheriescoastguardships

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Maritime History Professor: So, what do you think is the most important sea in Europe?

Student: Undoubtedly the one in Amsterdam Canal Experience.

I recently subscribed to Asian Maritime History Monthly...

but haven't received a single issue. Then I remembered I had "No junk mail" on my door.


This is the worst, super specific pun I've come up with so far.

TIL that, in 1917, England mistook an Italian maritime transport for a German one, so they attacked it.

Whoops, wrong sub.

Maritime Imperial Unit Puns

You can’t even fathom how many there are

Putin gets interviewed about the sinking of the Moskva

Vladimir Putin:] It’s a great pleasure, thank you.

[Interviewer:] This ship that was involved in the incident off Crimea this week…

[Vladimir Putin:] Yeah, the one the magazine detonated?

[Interviewer:] Yeah

[Vladimir Putin:] That’s not very typical, I’d like to make that...

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What was FDR's most famous maritime obscenity law?

The Nude Eel.

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A Maritimer in a bar once asked me if I had ever tried Moosehead.

I said "No, but I've had some pretty grizzly pussy in my day."

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Why can’t you get a blowjob in Quebec or Ontario?

Because all of the cocksuckers are down here in the Maritimes.

Why is it a good thing to study oceanic trade routes?

Because you’ll have a maritime (merry time)!

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