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Primates Jokes

A chimpanzee, a gorilla and a baboon are communicating to each other across their zoo enclosures about which is the greatest primate...

"It's obviously me!" says the chimp. "I am most closely related to humans and can use tools!" "No, it's me!" says the gorilla. "I am the biggest of all primates and strongest!" "No, it's me!" says the baboon. "I am smaller than you apes but am the biggest monkey plus fast and cunning!"

But t...

Some scientists believe the ability to create language was because we ate so much meat as primates.

That's why vegans can only say "i'm vegan".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After God created the world and Adam & Eve

[NSFW]

He still had 2 gifts left. God said: "The first is to stand up and pee..."
"uh, pick me, pick me, I want that" Adam interrupted.
"You don't want to hear what the other one is?" God replied, but Adam was already on his way to test out this new gift.
"Very well, eve!" God said...

“meta” mates

Facebook employees are now > Metamates.
LinkedIn > Inmates.
Amazon > Primates.
Tinder > Intimates.
ServiceNow > Nowmates.
Snowflake > Snowmates.
Postmates > Postmatemates.

Amazon joke

What do you call two monkeys who share a Prime account?

Primates.

A scientific study was conducted on ants...

There was a scientific study conducted on various species of ants investigating the correlation between their heights and how their feet operate.
Shorter ants were found to have little nubs on the end of their feet that operate similarly to toes on humans and primates.
This was not seen in lar...

Father and son at the zoo...

A boy goes to the zoo with his father. They’re at the Primates section. The father asks the boy, “Do you know what that animal is?” And the boy says “Yeah… a monkey.” The father smiles, “No son… that’s an orangutan! Orangutans are apes!”

Across the park… the father asks the boy, “What animal ...

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