Magnus Carlsen uses tinder...

... to check for potential mates.

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The tale of two worms

Maggie and Magnus were worming out and about when they came to a river, and saw they had just missed the boat. To make matters worms, they couldn’t dig their way under the river. Maggie wanted to turn around, but Magnus said there was a bridge nearby, and insisted a bridge isn’t a dime a dozen, and ...

Your move.

I had lunch with chess grandmaster magnus magnuson last week. It was a lovely Italian restaurant with a chequered tablecloth though.
So
It took him three hours to pass the salt.

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An old Scot reflects on life decisions

An old Scottish man sitting in a pub. Drunk off his ass and rambling.
"You see that church across the street? I build that church with me own two hands, but no one walks the town proclaiming, 'oh, there goes Magnus, the church-builder'.
And you see these windows? I put these windows in with me...

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Mick and Paddy on the quiz show

Two irishmen called Mick and Paddy go to UK´s quiz show Mastermind in hopes of showing how smart they are. Mick goes to the chair, while Paddy sits with the audience.


In comes the show´s host Magnus Magnusson:

*Magnus*: "what is your choice of subject?"


*Mick*: "Iri...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

old old lady walks into an adult store. .(NSFW)

she's really old, like 90+ old, she even shakes so she has to use a walker, as shaky as she was she approached the counter;

the attendant thou surprised that a lady that old would go to a adult store did his job.

attendant: hello, is there anything I can do for you?
old lady: yes, d...

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